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Proud Momma keep on churning..

02.10.01 @ 13:59
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Wow, I finally did it. I created a whole new layout. Well its almost totally new. It still needs some tweaking, and once again I am still seeing some graphics issues, or maybe its just me. If you are also having trouble with any of the graphics could you be so kind as to let me know. If you have any suggestions that would be even more wonderful. I borrowed the basic framework (ie the table layout), from However instead of using their graphics I used my own graphics (well okay techinically I borrowed the graphics, but...) and changed all the colors etc..and tweaked the table layout a bit. But what I am most proud of, is the fact that I did it all in notepad. Hopefully now one is too sad that the stars from the cursor tail are missing, but I was tired of it. I may bring it back I am not sure. I think this layout is a little easier to read, and I now longer feel like I have to get my entries as long as the column on he left.

Wesley(*note* originally I linked Wesley to the wrong diary my appologies to one and all) left the most wonderful voice message in my guestbook. I feel so flattered. I love it when people come by and say something nice, or I get added somewhere. I feel so honored. Its like Sally Field in the Oscar speech. "You like me, You really like me". Being the kid who was always picked last and only had a very small group of friends, while the "populars" went out of their way to make life miserable for me, I kinda eat that sorta thing with a spoon. I can be so shallow sometimes, but its still and ego boost.

Yesterday they sent out the midterm progress reports from Warren's school. I was once again such a proud Momma. They didn't really have grades in the tradional sense, more of a checklist on academic skills (ie skills needed in order to learn, such as staying on task, using time wisely, following directions etc...). He was the tops in all of them. I was soo happy. He has worked soo hard this year, and is putting in so much effort. He wants a speedometer for his bike if he keeps it up. I think he has earned it, but I have no idea how to put a digital speedometer on a bike. I guess I will learn.

Right now I am feeling like a stuffed turkey ready for roasting. We had another office potluck, so of course I had to eat way too much. But it was soo good. Although my sloppy joes, I feel need a little more joe and a little less sloppy. oh well. I just hope everyone eats up, otherwise Warren and I will be eating slushburgers (thats what we called them where I grew up, (slushburger = sloppy joe = manwich = loose meat= fill in your name here)for the rest of the week. I like them as much as anyone, (confirmed omnivore to the bone, I love my meat just make sure you kill it and pass it thru the flames a few times, applogies to any vegan/veggitarians, I respect it, but I dont' get it)

This weekend I finally got fed up with my walls and all the dirty spots. I couldnt get all of it clean, so I cheated. I went to Menard and got matching paint and just painted over the marks and scrapes and such. I want to totally repaint my house so each room is a different color, but that is soo much work. I could never afford a professional, and who has the time to do all that work. I want a country blue kitchen. I found this wonderful wall paper in a store once and I am still so pissed I couldn't afford it. It is a white paper with lite blue paw prints (cat prints) on it. The matching border has playing kittens on it. It is soo me, like you wouldnt believe. (I used to have a plaque in my kitchen that said, "People who hate cats, were rats in a former life". At least until my ex busted it. I still have the frame and the picture but the glass and he hanging part are broken. It would have matched purrfectly. I want to do a Sci Fi theme in my bedroom, a Harry Potter theme in Warren's room and a just kinda modern country type look in my living room. The bathroom is the only room with color. It is a color called Cantelope but it looks more like Sunrise if you ask me. a real pale pinkish orangish color. Not nearly as ugly as it sounds. I have a need border that has black and green and that color in a neat pattern. I just need to put it up. My couchs are black with lines of color running thru them, so I am thinking that the walls should be a color that is also picked up in the couch pattern. The Carpet is a dirt highlighting gray. (beatiful color designed for homes that are sans rugrats), and I also have a fake fireplace with plastic logs that look like they are burning because of a rotating lightbulb thing underneath. don't laugh it actually looks semi real. it has a blower so it does actually put out some heat. I also wish I had the money to remodel. I soo, like you wouldn't believe, want to get rid of this stupid shed thing my ex built in our front yard. I can't even see the street out our picure window becasue of it. I hate it. It looks so "white trashy, like I should have an old buick up on blocks or somthing. (please dont flame me if you do, I grew up surrounded by vehicles of all kinds, just not on the front lawn okay.). I want to make my picure window in to a nice large Bay window, the Kind that have three sides and a nice area to sit or to put neat little do dads.. I have always wanted one of those for as long as I can remember.

I also need to get the house ready for winter. I finally got my elec bill up to date. then last week I got my new bill, when I opened it I almost swallowed my tongue. $89 freaking dollars. I have not used the air or the heat all month, what in the name of holy electrons is going on here. I dont' watch that much tv, and I alwasy try to make sure I shut the lights off.. Ugh..

Sunday I had to pick Warren up at Mikes. Gawds what an experience. It wasnt' as bad as I thought it would be, but it wasnt' fun either. I saw Mikes apt. What a hole. Everything looks pretty much as he kept it when we were jsut going together before I got preggo.. I dont' think two people could meet in the kitchen. He couldnt' even get the oven open without moving the laundry baskets. and the living room looked more like a garage workroom. I could tell he has also been hitting the "lemonade" . (Mikes lemonade that is, the kind you need to be 21 to buy). He wants me to think about letting him have Warren live with him next year, um yeah, right after they elect a Jewish Pope, and my cats start barking. No way, and only a judge who was drugged uncouncious would ever give him custody. Lets see your honor, in this corner we have a mother who has been employed for almost 10 years, 7 in one job almost 2 in the second. She owns a home, has never had a drug or alcholol offense, works full time, has benifits, and never goes out during the week unless she can take Warren with. In this corner we have 5 DUI's, several other numerous offences, a pot head, has had more than 8 jobs in as many years. hasnt' lived at the same place more than a couple months since she tossed him out and sought a restraining order. Now lets think real hard about this okay. Steady home envirnonment vs. bumsville UsA population 1.. Tough call. I guess some people just never grow up and get past the poor me stage.

I think I also figured something else out. I know why I get so touchy about certain issues. I feel like after what happened with Mike I am so over concerned with it NEVER happening agian, that I am not only worried about it, but worried about the possibility of beinging in a situation where there is even a chance. Its like I prefer to keep people at a distance where I know I will be safe from them. I dont' want to be anywhere near Mike because I am afraid of falling for his manipulation and letting it happen. I am so determined I refuse to ever give him the chance. I trust him slightly less far than I can throw a Wookie. Not fun, so way definately not fun.


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~*~Have you read these~*~

~ Ode to a child who is no more ~
~ She's baaack ~
~ testing ~
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~ Bleech ~

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In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.