*Make My Day
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Recently shared thoughts
Not sure how this will work out, but I'm in a blogging mood lately so I figured I might as well come back home where it all started and where I found some of the cool kids on the playground were pretty cool friends too.
I just looked at the date of when I last posted an actual entry, 3 almost 4 years ago. I remember experimenting with other blogs around but they just never felt like home. Facebook is much easier, but it's limited and I let myself be found by people I'm happy to be in touch with, but who I want to limit thier access to certain things in my life.
Many things have changed a lot in these last few years, I'm still stuggling with some of them myself. Most of you, still reading this are probably aware that Mike passed away back in 2012, and that is was suicide (not comfirmed, but extremely likely) via OD. I'm still strugling with the full gamit of emotions on that one, all at once it feels like somedays. As much as we seemed to hate each other and as much as we fought over EVERYTHING, there was some love there too, deep under everything, buried with a pile of poo and some used TP. He wasn't totally bad, just messed in the head, and stuck in his own stew.
His mother confirmed what I had long suspsected, though he told me otherwise. He was bipolar and self medicating, a skill he apparently learned from his father, another brilliant man who wasted potential due to self medicated mental illness.
Getting help is hard, but the alternative is harder on the ones who have to live with you, and will be left behind when you are gone.
Warren is 20 now, he still has a lot of growing up to do, but compared to the kid who made suspension from school an art form, he's doing pretty good. He still lives at home (he ditched the crazy girl friend about whom the best things I can say are she had a good heart and great taste in cats) and helps to pay the bills.
Politically we are total opposites on many levels but in agreement on others. I still look at him sometimes and wonder if the hospital gave us the right kid, but then he says or does something to remind me of my dad and I know there was no mistake.
Financially things are tight, but we aren't homeless or starving so they could be worse. I'm still at the same job I've had since Warren was 8, and will probably be here for life or the winning lottery number, whatever comes first.
The bells and whistles on the old homestead seem to have fallen into disrepair. If I stay here I may just have to spruce up the place.
Prequels ~ Sequels
Music of the mind: :
~*~Have you read these~*~
~ Life Goes On ~
~ Tardigirl ~
~ Small states and bad winters ~
~ heart and soul ~
~ Ode to a child who is no more ~
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In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.
I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.
I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.