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Out with the old, in with the new

01.01.03 @ 22:55
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Happy New Year!! Its been quite an interesting year. I thus end my first full year as a single mom. Its been the most tumultious year of my life. Last year at this time, I had no idea where I was going, or what was going to happen. Warren was still in Partial, I was on the verge of falling apart, yet somehow holding it together purely because I had no other choice. I think I was like those trauma victims who do amazing things because of the massive amounts of adrenaline going on, only instead of cutting off my own foot, I was going to work and cleaning house even though the only thing I wanted to do was lay in bed and watch tv while staring in my very own personal pity party. Now here it is a whole year later.From Last Year's Happy New Year entry.

Okay, I think I am trapped in one of those wierd sci fi movies where the protagonist keeps relieving the same thing over and over and over again. Lets hope this is the time when I get it right.

2002 has been one hella roller coaster ride. I am not sure I even want to think about all that has gone one in this year. There have been a few highlights, such as AOTC comming out, camping out for SW, seeing it many times over the summer, and well that's about it actually. It started out with a bang and ended on a fizzle. Lets hope since 03 is staring on a fizzly note that it ends on a high one. I know I don't think I can take much more.

I didn't do much today. Warren and I did make a cake with Seven minute frosting, which taste's a little too much like marshmellow fluff to me, but it was still good. Now to figure out why all my cakes have stomachs like Santa Clause. Oh well at least it tasted good. He also played onthe computer and wanted me to teach him how to make a web site, except I am not sure my computer can handle (or I can) what he wants to do, but if any body has the set up to make shockwave or flash animation games let me know. Other wise I watched enough Disney Channel to last me three life times, If I never see Lizzie McQuire, or Raven's video again it will be way way too soon.

Then we went for a walk to K-Mart, and Warren got a couple new Matchbox cars on sale, and I got some soda, chapstick and Funyons, exciting my life is not. Tommorrow I go back to work and Warren returns to school. He is more than a little nervous and I can't say as I blame him, poor guy.

I still haven't been able to get on the same page as lady from tech dept of very large bank, I work Thurs, Fri and then have Sat off, then work Sun, Mon and Tues. Wed I have apt at RACC to hopefully work out transportation arrangements and other details to starting getting Mike more and more out of our lives. I hate depending on him, as he is the last person to depend on, but he loves Warren, and as much as I hate him he is not evil, merely annoying beyond all annoying. He needs help and maybe when it is all gone and he hits rock bottom he will finally see the light. I am not holding my breath, but it does make a nice day dream.

I had another major bout of depression this year, and had more bad things happen than I care to even talk about, including the one's that relate to why I was gone for so long, and to what the counter at the bottom of my entries is about. August and September were the months of the worst of it, and when it all started to fall apart. It is finally starting to look on the up, but when I try to think more than a day ahead, I get panicky and if I think to much I will become hysterical again. Though I admit it worked in my favor with PSJ, over last weekend. They handled everything totally wrong, and are now bending over to kiss my rear to fix it. LOL.. I was a basket case Friday night, I mean I was ready to check in to the looney bin.

On a lighter note, at least to me anyway, Warren became the proud bearer of his very first pimple today. Needless to say, he was definatley less than thrilled. Poor guy, today is definately the wrong day for that.

I'm ready for bed, I'm crossing my fingers and taking the days one at a time. So for now all I have to say is HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!


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~*~Have you read these~*~

~ Ode to a child who is no more ~
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In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.