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Stop The world, I wanna get off

24.08.01 @ 09:49
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Lets try this again shall we. I am so pissed at my #(&(#*(#(@@(!!!!!! computer right now. I spent the better part of half and hour typing out and entry and what happens the blasted thing locks up on me completely and since there is no save in this entry applet I lost a long good entry. UGH!! Well lets try this again shall we.(Is there an echo in here?)

First order of business I found out last night that my new layout isnt' all its cracked up to be. For some reason, some of my graphics are not wanting to cooperate. at least not unless I go to the page they are stored then come back. Help. At least the Han/Leia graphic at the top appears to be working. (thanks for trying to help Tam. I am thinking that maybe I just have too many graphics or something. I will try fiddling around with it too see. Today I am trying no little .gif divders and see if that makes a difference. If any code monkeys out there can give me any html pointers I would be forever in your debt. Help I ain't too proud to beg. I know I have it coded correctly because none of the a href's point to a local file. except for a couple of graphics located on the rest are all at The link I am using doesnt have the cg-bin in it. Here are some examples Heart or Warren The Warren graphic was working fine earlier so I am at a loss, except that it I think my page may be too large to load.

On to a new subject. As I had so nicely unloaded before my *#&*#&*^%^%FFFF!! computer decided it didnt' like me Warren and I had a great time at his back to school night. Mrs. E seems like she is going to be a great teacher. I didnt' get to talk to her as much as I would have liked becasue of the number of other parents and kids there, but I got to at least introduce my self and get a feeling for her and the class room. They are all in a sort of circle, the desks that is. Which is a good sign in my book. And this year they are better prepared for dealing with him and what he needs. He seemed excited this year. Esp since A*** wont be in his class. Those two clashed like titans. (sorry bad reference).

Last night after we came back from dinner out at A & W (in the Cenex near our house), Warren and I went to bed. He couldn't get to sleep for anything, so we had a long talk. He was telling me about how he is nervous he is, because of how he feels dumb sometimes. I felt the same way in the lower grades. I never did well until I got to high school, and I was freer to learn what I liked sort of. It was more higher level learning, less basic skills. I can see the same thing in Warren. He is plenty bright, he just learns differently. He may have some trouble with route learning, but he has plenty of knowledge upstairs and is good at figuring things out, and asking questions. (like his mom *sigh* and dad *grumble grumble*). Then he was also talking about his anger and the two kinds of anger warm anger, the kind that comes out right away when you feel it, and cold anger the kind that doesn't come out but stays inside of out chewing you up. He was telling me how he learned it at PHP, but still the way he was able to explain to me, is pretty preceptive for an 8 year old. He was also talking about me and his dad. He says its both our faults, what happened. He sees that his dad didn't act very well, and that I also didnt'. But then he started in about how I hid the letter and now his dad has no custody. (damn it, why does Mike feel the need to put Warren in the middle of this , its between him an me dammit). I tried to tell Warren that what happened is between his dad and me, and his Dad shouldn't tell him bad things and put him in the middle, to turn him against me. He told me, his dad isn't turning him against me. He will never turn against me, just like he will never turn against his dad. (*aw am I blessed or what). I feel so bad, poor kid. Torn between the two people he loves most and who are supposed to love him the most. This isn't how it is supposed to be. It sure isnt' how I wanted it. I sometimes wonder what I ever saw in Mike then I remember. That girl is dead now. She has been replaced by someone with a backbone and some self esteem. out with the old Cranky One, in with the new and improved version 2.0!! I feel so glad that at least he feels comfortable sharing this with me. I just hope I never do anything to betray that trust. That is one nice thing about the family bed. At night when he is calm and we are alone he can talk to me, and we can share and bond. During the day there is too much going on and he doesn't want to talk. He trys to act big, but at night he can be what he is, a little kid with a lot to deal with. He is only 8, and coping with things that many adults would find hard to handle. Now that has to be hard.

This morning he was in Cranky mode major (yes we watch too much Disney at our house can you tell?!!?). I had to tell him 5 times to get his socks on. Then when we got to daycare, he realized he left his monster trucks at home. (the ones that McD's is giving out with Happy Meals). I of course wanting to get to work dug in and said, no we dont' have time to go back and them. Well this prompted Mt. Warren in to total volcanic erruption. It took as long to get him into daycare as it would have to run home and get the stupid trucks. But *T* bless her heart, took it all instride. Oh he has these episodes somestimes, he just needs to cool off for a bit then he's fine.!! yeah does my heart good, to know some one else finally understands. I guess I need to re read my Dr. Greene book. It would have been better to go get the trucks than have a melt down and start the day out so lousy. I dont' think it would spoil him. I worry about that too. I grrew up with Mommy and Daddy alwasy fixing everything and I am still trying to recover from that. I want Warren to deal with things on his own, but also with his temperment, I think a different approach is insisted on.

To the person who signed my guestbook last night. Thanks. I love the graphic. I am also a hopeful romantic. Han and Leia are my ideal of the perfect, imperfect couple. Something I may never achieve. And also speaks of my thing for only older men. *sigh. It seems like if he aint at least 7 ot 8 years older or more I am not the slightest bit interested. Older guys just have so much more to offer. *wink wink **nudge nudge. but then with my track record, I am not the greatest at picking guys to fall for. Well off to work I go, cause I owe I owe.


Prequels ~ Sequels

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~*~Have you read these~*~

~ Ode to a child who is no more ~
~ She's baaack ~
~ testing ~
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In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.