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A thousand words...and more

06.04.03 @ 22:19
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Today was another one of those days. Right as I am getting ready for the end of my shift, the phone rings and of course it is somebody who wants to just yap and yap and has a huge order. I have to be nice, and not let on that I want nothing more than to get rid of him as I have to go home. Not that he would have any way of knowing this has happened to me twice. Yesterday I wound up with unauthorized overtime, (which I need ) because I had a call that went on over 30 minutes.

I also finally broke down and made an appointment with a p*doc and a therapist. I can't deal with this much longer, between the financial stress, the job I hate, Warren's behavioral issues and Rat Ass, along with my own mental issues I think the knot at the end of my rope is starting to fray. Lets hope this time we can find a drug that doesn't a)make me as sick as I was when I was pregnant, or b)make me feel like I am stoned, or hung over. Most psych drugs seem to have one or the other effect on me. Or else I just get all hyper and weirded out. I can't explain it, I just feel all weird, almost like being in the wrong body.

I also decided to go out on a limb and post some pictures on my site to give everyone a face to go with the words. I have held off on this for sometime, as part of me was afraid that once you saw what I really look like, it would give some people a bias. But after much thinking I decided the heck with it. This is me, deal with it. Yes, this is me. Its not a a very good picture, my son took it last year. My hair is now longer, and redder and I have lost some weightAs you can see I'm not tiny by any definition.

I also decided to add a face to another name this is Mike. He has since grown his hair back and has a bit of a beard. Pic was taken at Warren's school program last year. So who does Warren look like?. Hard to figure out how we ever got to be a couple, isn't it.

Although its actually a picture of a picture, I wanted to show where I grew up. Its rather sad now when I think about it, as my home is now a hunting lodge where total strangers pay for the priveldge to sleep in my room. (That could have been rephrased, couldn't it). The chicken coop, and brewter house (little tiny building between barn and coop, where chicks are kept till they ummm become more chicken like). Have been sold, the gas barrels are all gone, but the windmill is still there. Its hard to see a lot of detail, because of the size, but it gives you a general idea anyway. And the place isn't quite as desolate as it looks, though yes we were about 70 miles north of East Bumble-fuck. This is the farm I was raised on My dad was also raised on this farm.

The last pic is a photo of the ring that I wear all the time.It was my dad's class ring when he graduated high school, "Class of 49". When he died I put it on, and I have had it since. It somehow makes me feel closer and more connected to him. Its like a lucky charm of sorts. I can't explain it, but I feel like nothing totally terrible will happen as long as I have this ring. That everything will eventually work out in the end. Its hard to see the detail, but its all gold, with no stones. Its getting kind of worn, but I've gotten a few compliments on it. Its the only jewelery I ever wearmy dad's class ring that I always wear.

Thankfully I have tommorrow off, and I have plenty to do, but I plan to go enjoy the fact that I can enjoy tonight without having to worry about getting up in the mornign at the gawdawful hour of 6am. So time to say nighty night. I appologize to those who came in last night when I was posting. I should know better than to post pics when I am tired. It took me 2 forevers and a day to get it to show up right.


Prequels ~ Sequels

Daily Dumbass:
Thankful For:
Music of the mind: :

~*~Have you read these~*~

~ Ode to a child who is no more ~
~ She's baaack ~
~ testing ~
~ Facebook me ~
~ Bleech ~

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In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.