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Hiding under the bed with the dust bunnies

02.03.02 @ 22:31
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I'm so tired, its bordering on exhausted. Yet I haven't done anything to warrent being so tired. I just don't get it. I have a million things to do, yet aside from going out (I know I know, but I just have no desire to cook or do dishes right now, and Warren didn't mind this time, because we went to Michaels (the craft store, not his dad) afterwards. I love having a artsy creative kid!! I am seriously hungry, but I am just laying here in bed watching Discovery and listening to my tummy growl because feeding it would require going downstairs. I think the monster is comming back home. I feel that yucky dont give a damness, that familiar aura of ignorning everything rather than face it. If I hide long enough maybe it will disappear no?? NO!! Damn. I've been doing that for years, it never works, but I never learn. How did I ever get to be a grown up anyway??

I have to pay a stupid $400 medical bill in the next 10 days or they are going to come after my Piece O'shit car. I can't believe it, a car for a lousy $400 bill, that I have been disputing for over 2 years. If you live around here, avoid SEHS like the plaque, underfunded idiots I tell you. I have the money, but I need it desperately for otherthings and its the principal of the thing. I just feel like I can't get a brake. I know some **okay okay a lot of it is my own stupid fault, but sometimes I just don't feel like I have another choice. Mike is being an idiot, and while I don't know if he would actually challange me for Warren's custody sometimes he really worries me. He was way way late (over 4 hours)getting Warren today.

And of course he "had" to use the bathroom. Just so he could bitch about what a pig hole it is.

"You know what that means, right"

"Yeah whatever, go shove it asshole"

That isn't exactly the converstion, but you get the idea. I just feel all, I can't even explain it. Its not like depression, yet in some ways it is. Its like being up and down at the same time. My mind keeps going, but my body is staying behind. I just feel right now like I don't give a damn. I just want to crawl under my bed and spend the rest of the winter hybernating with the dust bunnies and assortied unidentified critters. I do what I have to, but even that seems like too much effort. Work sux. If I ever hear "script error handler not defined # get prop" one more time I shall surely commit a homicide.

I really should get something to eat, but do I really want to spend that much energy, I may need it again tommorrow. But I am hungry. God I wish McDonalds delivered.

editors note: Bravenet is currently gone poof, so for now use the notes or email to leave me messages. I have no idea what bravenets problem is as I can't even get to the web site.

3-2-02 update: Bravenet was apparently hacked sometime Friday or Saturday so my guestbook, FAQ, Discussion, SiteCounter, and photos will be off line for an undetermined amount of time. Please use Notes or email to contact me. I appologize. If you are here to review my site, please take this into account as it is NOT MY FAULT! Thanks for your support.


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~*~Have you read these~*~

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In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.