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To my son
I am writing this letter while you are sleeping next to me. You look so peaceful and sweet. It is easy to remember how much I love you and why.
Tonight we had another one of our fights. You had begged and pleaded and promised everything short of your first born to open one of your presents. I was stubborn and held my ground. Eventually I caved and we made a deal. Later you decided you didn't like Grammas present as much after all. Gramma hasn't had any little kids for awhile and has forgotten that 8 year old boys don't like little kid toys. You decided you didn't like the deal anymore. I made you stick to your agreement. You started in with how you don't get anything and so on, like any child you want what you want now, you know the rest of the time you are loved, but when you are mad, if you can't have it now, its the same as never.
I wanted to appologize for the way I over reacted. I said many things I should never have said. I really do love you, I try to show it, but sometimes I am sure it may not feel like it. I hope someday you will understand. I want so much for you. You are the smartest boy I have ever known and you have so much potetial. When you call yourself stupid it really makes me angry. I used to feel the same way about my self when I was younger. Sometimes I still feel that way. I want you to grow up in to a happy well adjusted adult, one with a character that can be depended on, and who means what he says and says what he means. I expect alot from you, but I know you are capable of it. I have seen so much improvement in you over the last year, way more than I even thought. Your teachers and I agree you have a wonderful future if you want it.
I am so sorry for all the things I say about your father. I feel like such a hypocrite because I get upset at what your father says about me, yet I do the same thing to him. I know it isn't fair for you to be in the middle, you need to tell me when I am putting you in the middle. I need to stop and think before I speak not after. I get so angry sometimes, and then I feel so guilty and lousy afterwards. I dont' know if you will ever read this, but I want to make sure you know I love you very much.
I also want to let you know that I got you a set of K'nex and jr. Chemistry set with experiments for Christmas. I know what you like and I think about it when I shop for you. I know you will have fun on Christmas playing mad scientist. Just promise me you will not blow up the house.
Prequels ~ Sequels
Music of the mind: :
~*~Have you read these~*~
~ Ode to a child who is no more ~
~ She's baaack ~
~ testing ~
~ Facebook me ~
~ Bleech ~
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In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.
I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.
I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.