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Have you seen Leanna Warner?
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Why amd I up so damn early?

Thursday, Mar. 08, 2007 @ 6:40 am
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You Are Balanced - Realist - Empowered

You feel your life is controlled both externally and internally. You have a good sense of what you can control and what you should let go. Depending on the situation, you sometimes try to exert more control. Other times, you accept things for what they are and go with the flow. You are a realist when it comes to luck. You don't attribute everything to luck, but you do know some things are random. You don't beat yourself up when bad things happen to you... But you do your best to try to make your own luck. You have a good deal of power, but you also know the pecking order. You realize that working the system does get you further. You know who to defer to and who to control. When it comes to the game of life, you play things flawlessly.

That sounds fairly accurate. Though you'd never know it by the way some in my family see me, but that's another issue entirely.

I think I must have early senility or soemthing. I have been having meeting s at Warren's school the same time on the first Wed of every month all school year. Guess what yesterday was? Guess where I wasn't? Guess what didn't even occur to me until I got an email from Warren's teacher asking me if everything was alright. I'm usually on top of these things. I must be more worried/stressed/obsessed lately than I thought.

Yesterday I found myself getting in despair because some pumpkin bread had went bad. I must have made it too thick so some of the middle wasnt' quite done right. It tasted okay, but it went bad way too fast. Lesson learned, Now if I can just let it go and move on already. It's hardly a huge issue.

To answer the questions on my BP. The first time I went to my PA, I had drank a cup of tea with breakfast {English Breakfast tea, I love it. It doesn't love me back}, and they pulled me in to measure as soon as I got in and barely sat down. It was way way too high. They measured it again after my appoinmtent and it had dropped over 20 points.

Monday I was there quite early and decaffinateted. I tried to relax. I was still a bit hungry so I did snack on some soy nuts [though they shouldn't have had that much sodium], and tried to do some deep breathing. I was measured after my appoinment. This was also the day the idiot was going to court, and I found out we are titrating up on my meds, but they are going to be pricey even with BC/BS [emphasis on the BS] and coupon, so I was no doubt stressing about money, and the weekend from hell with Mike out, and Warren acting out as a result. it was up 10 points from before.

Today I am taking it easy. I took my cal/mag/d, I had a cup of camomile tea and a small glass of soy milk, as well a bit of wheat germ oil [for the vitamin e, and the "cleansing" effect"}.
I made sure my supper was very low sodium. {breaded fish, sweet potato and whole wheat couscous, witha little olive oil and garlic, adn a dash of parmesean].

I have a dentist appointment this afternoon and I need to get a few groceries. If there is time I am also getting my hair cut. It needs it, and I deserve it. I love having my hair done. I am not going to let my self stress myself sick over this. I've been obsessing too much. I try to do everything right and it stil isnt' working. I need to let go, the harder I try to worse I make it because I try too hard. Sometimes I really need to let go, and just accept things. I can control a lot of things, but I can't control everything. I just seem to have a hard time telling the difference these days.

On a different note, if you havent' seen Flags of our Fathers, you really must go see it. It makes you think, and really shows how America uses its heros and then tosses them aside when they no longer serve our purpose. It also shows a very graphic and non glamourized, non glorified, non John Wayned version of war. One where young men suffer and see things no one should ever see, where things don't heal just cause the body is repaired. Clint Eastwood was wasted on those Dirty Harry movies. He just moved up several notches of respect in my book. Rent it now.

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Prequels ~ Sequels

Daily Dumbass:
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~*~Have you read these~*~

~ Ode to a child who is no more ~
~ She's baaack ~
~ testing ~
~ Facebook me ~
~ Bleech ~

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Mini-Bio

In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.

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