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Mother needs some little helpers

Sunday, Sept. 18, 2005 @ 7:34 pm
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What a drag it is getting old
"Kids are different today,"
I hear ev'ry mother say
Mother needs something today to calm her down
And though she's not really ill
There's a little yellow pill
She goes running for the shelter of a mother's little helper
And it helps her on her way, gets her through her busy day

God must be a man, cause no women would invent something as complicated as teenagers and send it out in the world with an instruction manual. While Warren may not yet be technically be a teenager, he is close enough to drive me completely and totally psycho-bats.

Going back to the beginning he waited until Wednesday night to tell me he was over drawn on his lunch account (never mind that they send home notices long before that point, and he was just lucky they let him eat, as normally they don't). I had no way to pay for his lunches for a few days, but we did have more than enough in the fridge to make him a good lunch. The next day I reminded him multiple times not to forget his lunch. Of course each reminder was met with a typical "Yes mom, I know" in appropriate teenage condesending "you are so annoying and stupid mom" tone. So you can guess what happens. Yep at 9:30 I get a frantic call from the school, guess who has no lunch. Normally I would say let him go hungry and next time he won't be quite so obnoxious. But I also know that if he doesn't get to eat, he will be annoying and obnoxious as heck. I don't want him to ruin his so far good record (minus a couple of bad starts) for the school year. Like a dutiful mom, I run home and get his lunch to drop it off (did I mention it is a 7 mile drive). Did I get a thank you, or an appology. Yeah right. Once I mentioned it to him, "did you get your lunch?" I got still more 'tude. Though not nearly as much. "Well you brought it mom". It was only after I pointed out to him what I had to do, including the fact that it meant leaving work and wasting gas, did he finally say thank you and offer something resembling an appology.

That night he did his homework with little or no fuss. The next day at almost 3pm, I get a lovely call from the assistant principal informing me that my son had a major fit because he misunderstood how the level system worked and accused them of lying to him. Only he used words that no student should be allowed to use in a middle school, and was also slamming doors and yelling. So instead of taking the bus home, he was escorted to my work place. By the time he got there he was calm, at least until I asked him what happened. Than he got angry again. But he sat quiet in the break room until I finished my shift. And didn't go off, while I was on the phone with his teacher (definately a step in the right direction). But on the way home we did talk about it. I don't think we got anywhere, but we did talk abbout it. I also made it clear later that night, that if he doesn't get his poop in a group and learn how to deal, he will go back to PSJ, or something worse. If he can't figure out out how to behave in a school, it will escalate to where it is out of my hands.

We did manage to talk a little more. I know he feels really bad about himself because of the wieght issue, though he has done really good working on it. I picked up a form to apply for assistance to join the Y again (I used to be a member a long time ago, when he was too little for anything but daycare). He seems really interested in weight lifting and working out. I think it would be great for him. We also stopped at the closer one, to try out the climbing wall (I'm looking for ways he can vent his frustration and not feel so low), thinking it would help and maybe if he can accomplish something it will help him feel better about himself in other areas. I know the fact that he can't read as well as he would like, is a large part of it. He also writes very slow, which means he ends up with homework, when the other kids don't and he is embarrased about getting help, as they are expecting him to do more for himself, and the pressure is a lot harder than it was in elementary school.

Unfortunately it seems he is afraid of heights (which seems strange, since he has no trouble with the high dive at the pool). Though he did mention when he is near the top floors of a high building he feels nervous. They have professional belayers during kids time, so falling wasn't really an issue, but he would get about 1/4 the way up and just get scared. He tried several times. Having a much younger girl, come in an scamper right up to the top didn't help either. Hopefully working out regularly (I hope we can do it) will help both of us.

On top of that, Warren and the Idiot have been fighting this weekened, which has Warren feeling even lower than he already did. Because his dad can't act like the 40 year man that he is, he has to act like the perpetual teenager he always acts like. The one who is too good to follow the rules the one who acts like a 12 year old when he fights with a twelve year old. When your son is depressed at loosing what contact he has with you, and is pissed as hell, becaue it is your own damn fault for being an idiot, acting like he is wrong is a stupid approach. When he gets upset enough to say he doesn't want you for a dad anymore, comming back and telling him he doesn't need to call you dad anymore, and he doesn't have a father, earns you the right to be shot. Anybody who can make a 12 year old boy cry, ought to have his testicals removed with rusty dental tools from the middle ages. Especially when that boy feels like he is the one at fault for ruining his relationship with his father, but is too mad and proud to try and fix it, because said father is being a complete dick head.

At least tonight Mike seems to have been hit over the head with a reason stick and seems to be acting almost like something resembling a human being. Almost, not quite but almost. At least they are being civil and have acted like father and son, sort of .

Oh and on top of it, all his behavior on Friday, got him suspened tommorrow. I made him help me clean house today, and you would have thought I asked him to build a new house all by himself.

I can understand alot of Warren's frustration and issues, I just feel like I have no idea how to help. When he was little it was easy to fix the boo-boos and blow the ouchies away. These ouchies don't blow away so easily. I know he want's to do better and he doesn't want to be like he is, but sometimes he gets so mad, his emotions over take his logic and he gets into trouble. It doesn't help that at the time he needs me most, he is also at the age where he needs to separate from me, and is transitioning out of boyhood. Also being perpetually broke and unable to afford anything extra isn' helping either.

If anybody has advice on dealing with angsty teenagers, I would surely appreciate it.

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Prequels ~ Sequels

Daily Dumbass: who ever wrote that damn credit card commercial with the lady making smoothies in the garbage disposal - makes me ill
Thankful For: my beautiful clean kitchen.
Music of the mind: : Listening to "Paradise by the Dashboard LIght" MeatLoaf

~*~Have you read these~*~

~ Ode to a child who is no more ~
~ She's baaack ~
~ testing ~
~ Facebook me ~
~ Bleech ~

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Mini-Bio

In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.

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