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Never his mind on where he was or what he was doing.

01.05.02 @ 10:52
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I am going to kill someone. I had a nice long entry all typed up adn this (*)E*0r8e9 mother #()@(*)#!! browser window closed on me. Son of a )#*((@)* freakin #()*#)*.

Still no details about what happened yesterday. I am not sure if the obit is in the paper yet or not. I imagine the family would prefer to keep the details private. Something I can understand.

I am coping as I didn't know him that well. But it did bring back too many memories of Jimmy. He was my mom's best friends son. He was in his late 20's and hung himself at the family farm where his dad found him. Its not a pleasant memory at all. It also brings back my senior year when one of the freshman killed himself. I was a small school, with an average of 30-35 kids in each grade. So everybody knew everybody else's business. I won't even go into my own ghosts on the issue. I have been at that point a couple times in my life. I am here mainly because I am just too damn stubborn to let the bastards win.

I also need a "space for rent" sign on my forehead. Today after I put gas in my car, I managed to drive all the way to work, (at least 3-5 miles) with the gas cap sitting on the back of my car. I passed a couple of police cars, and I amazed that they didn't think I was drunk or something. OR at least out to lunch. I didn't even know, (even with all the stares and a couple of honks, till some dude in a SUV followed me to the parking lot and told me. (we here in ND are a rather friendly and trusting bunch of hicks). Next time my body gets up for work, I will remember that my brain needs to come along for the ride. At least I remembered to hang up the gas hose. (I hope). I wonder if they make a drug for chronic stupidity.

On the other hand with some of the food discussions I've read lately I'lll try not to add anything that would constiture Too much information, from someone who grew up at the source. I watched chickens butchered at 3. I've seen and eaten deer that my dad hunted as well as antelope and pheasant. I know first hand what your are eating when you eat that hot dog. If you knew the parts that can be legally considered meat, you would never touch lunch meat again. My dad raised durum (the main ingredient in macaroni) for a living. We also sometimes raised hard wheat (bread and cereal flour). So I've seen up close and been in the trucks. I won't bother telling people how many bug parts (grasshopper legs anyone?) and mouse droppings per million are allowed. IT is impossible to get it 100% clean. Even the most organic and expensive food has a certain amount. I rarely eat meat, because I know exactly where it comes from and how it got there. I eat it, but as a side or flavoring, not as a main course. I could never sit down and eat a roast or a whole steak. Ick.. I refuse to eat veal or lamb because I find the whole concept revolting. I don't have an aversion to the concept of meat however. Its all the circle of life. I mean a tiger doesnt' contemplate the moral impliacations of the antelope. He just pounces the animal and eats, because if he doesnt' he will die. He can't eat grass it doesnt' have the nutrition he as a tiger needs. I believe that people eat way too much meat, but that meat in its self isnt' bad. Anything can be over done and will be bad for you in large enough quatities even water. But small amounts of a lean meat cooked well can be a balanced part of a healthy diet. Its when the diet becomes meat centered rather than grain/vegetable centered that fat, cholesterol, etc become a problem.


Prequels ~ Sequels

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~*~Have you read these~*~

~ Ode to a child who is no more ~
~ She's baaack ~
~ testing ~
~ Facebook me ~
~ Bleech ~

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In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.