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To sleep perchance to dream

Thursday, Jun. 08, 2006 @ 7:02 am
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Most of the time my dreams are off the wall enough or strange enough that even when I am dreaming I am usually aware that it is just a dream. Usually this is because they often involve events that defy known laws of reality, physics, biology etc.. Sometimes hilariously so.

Most of the time I don't talk about my dreams, as I find dream journals sometimes kind of boring as many of the details usually only have meaning to the dreamer and unless you know the person really well, its like reading some bizarre avant garde screen play outline. However sometimes, the subconscious takes a much more serious turn. The kind that has you thinking about your dream days later.

Two nights ago, I had a very disturbing dream the kind that feels almost real, until you've been awake for a few moments and reality finally kicks in enough to remind you it was only a figment of your subconsious. I don't even remember the beginning of it, but somewhere along the way I found my self in an ER (not the tv one, just a generic one), with a bunch of people in white coats and medical gear. Warren was on a stretcher. I'm not even sure what they were doing with him or why we were there. But everybody was running around like some sort of emergency, next thing I know they are telling me he is gone. I can't get to him, I can't find him. But he's not dead, he's disappered. I watched him vanish. But everybody is acting like he just died. I'm going nuts and nobody will help me, I can't find him. I'm trying to wrap my head around the fact that my son is gone, when I suddenly wake up. First I'm all kind of freaked out, than I gradually come to so to speak and realize that Warren is fine, and sleeping over at Jasper's house. I know it was just a dream, but it's still bothering me.

I think it's just my mind's way of preparing me for the next five years. He's only going to be 13, so its not like he is leaving for college in the fall,but it is a major milestone. He will be officially a teenager. He is growing taller by the minute (I think we've reached about 5' 9"), his voice has changed, soon will come shaving, dating, driving, and a life of his own, which won't always include me. I knew when I became a mother that he wouldn't stay a child forever, even though at times it seemed that way. My little boy is being replaced by a man, one step at a time. He is disappearing, but in his place hopefully will be the same person older, stronger smarter. I can't stop time from marching on, but I can still mourn it's passing.

My mom will be comming down the 19th and leaving the 21rst. Warren and I decided since we won't have tons of money for his birthday, we are going to take an overnight trip to the M@ll of America. We can spend an entire day there. There is a ton of stuff to do and see. It's only about 3 hours from here, and it's time we got out of Fargo for awhile. I can't wait. I think I'll still get him another present too, but this will be the main one. After all this is a milestone birthday. And Warren knows how to milk it for all it is worth.

7:20 already!! Damn time to go

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~*~Have you read these~*~

~ Ode to a child who is no more ~
~ She's baaack ~
~ testing ~
~ Facebook me ~
~ Bleech ~

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Mini-Bio

In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.

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