*Make My Day
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Do or do not..There is no try
My Colorgenics profile. I have done this before, but its been awhile.
While not completely accurate, this is in some places a little closer to the truth than I care to admit right now.
Everyone feels despondent at times and you are no exception. You are feeling so depressed because it seems that everything that could go wrong has gone wrong and you don't quite know which way to turn. So like the proverbial ostrich you are trying to bury your head in the sand. But that won't work - you have to face reality.
You are finding the present situation extremely demanding and you're having difficulty coping with it. A great deal of strain is involved and you would really like everyone and everything to leave you alone for a while, just so that you can put everything into perspective.
You feel unhappy because you feel that you are not able to obtain the co-operation of those around you. All you would like at this time would be to achieve harmony within your circle.
For some time now your hopes and expectations have been denied and because of this you are becoming withdrawn and introverted. Continual disappointment has manifested itself in you becoming both suspicious and restrained you have become withdrawn from others and have receded more and more into yourself. You seem to have lost your innate enthusiasm and imaginative nature, for fear that you may be carried away by it only to find that you are wasting your time. You are loath to trust people, as in the past your trust has been misplaced. You seem to be keeping yourself cautiously aloof from others. At this moment in time your attitude is to trust nobody - until they can prove themselves to you.
At this time you don't particularly like yourself. Everything that you have tried to do seems to have gone wrong. This makes you feel that there is no point in trying to start again. Apart from being stressed and tense, you are angry with yourself and have unadmitted self-contempt. Your refusal to admit that you and you alone is the basic cause of your problems leads to you adopting a headstrong and defiant attitude. If you take stock of yourself, smile a little and let go, everything will turn out OK. Have you not heard of the cliche 'smile and the world smiles with you - cry and you cry alone!'?
Another Friday night in Hell. Well okay it isn't THAT bad. But it might as well be. Things are okay now, but about an hour or so ago, I was the mom from Hell (no not that MomFromHell that would be a compliment). My son had declared that I was mean because I was too tired and slothy to take him to Skateland or to Sunset for swimming. I just plain don't feel like going anywhere tonight. I am tired and frustrated and want only to leave butt marks on the sofa. Somehow my 8 year old, doesn't quite agree with me. And since there isn't another adult here to take the pressure off I get the lovely fun of being hit by both barrels fully loaded. (Lock and load baby, lock and load). It was a brief serious storm, that quickly subsided. But like all bad moms, instead of cooking an actual meal for supper I opted to make cheeseburgers because I have an electric indoor grill and it takes no work. At least we had fresh veggies on the side as I still have left overs from the veggie tray I brought to work for the pot luck last week. So I am not totally bad mommy, just slothly, depressed mommy.
I swear this job is going to have me wieghing 500 pounds one of these days. It seems like any excuse from groundhogs day, to the 5th Tuesday after a full moon is an excuse to have take out, or pot luck. The first of the month is Pizza day. The 15th is birthday cake for who ever has b'days that month. In between if some one leaves we have a party, something new comes up, we have a party. Higher call volume, lets order Chinese. Some one got a compliment, *** springs for a BurgerTime run.(that was today. Its still sitting in me, like a rock) Clients in the office, donuts for all. My god. I eat more here then when I was at the deli from Hell and worked with food all day. (There really need to be a law against 5 gallon buckets of Salad and looking at the 20 gallon vats of frosting in the bakery is enough to make anyone swear off sugar). Its great that they are so wonderful, but thank God I have insurance I think I have gained 40 pounds in the last year, just from work.
Last night Warren was playing with the hose, and lost the bleeping pliers (the handle from teh spigot outside is missing). So by the time we got the water off, it had backed up in the kitchen (not much this time, thank goodness, as opposed to This incident) and of course he had to track threw it, so there are foot prints leading from my deck to my front door. Lovely. And now today he has caught his pants in his bike chain and riped them from cuff to thigh. They might make decent cutoff this summer but that is it. That is the 3rd pair of pants he has ripped in a month. What the hell does he do!!. I swear. I am ready to start buying his clothes from Army surplus. HE is big enough that I am sure they would fit. Maybe the army has something that is Warren Proof. Lord knows Wal-Mart doesn't. And since Sears no longer makes Toughskins, I am at a loss. I can't exactly send him out the door, sans pants, but this is getting ridiculous. At least his shirts are all in one piece, if not often on the stained side. He is definately all boy and then some. (not to be stereotypical or anythng, but sheesh I seen my dad come in from a long day of plowing with out a cab, and not wearing as much dirt as Warren gets into. ).
I love my son more than anything or anyone on Earth, yet I feel guilty because there are some occasions when I don't like him. It passes, because he is my baby, but when he gets on my nerves I have to remind my self that I am the adult and he is only 8. Parenthood is not for whimps or weaklings let me tell you.
Only 19 more days!!!
Prequels ~ Sequels
Music of the mind: :
~*~Have you read these~*~
~ Ode to a child who is no more ~
~ She's baaack ~
~ testing ~
~ Facebook me ~
~ Bleech ~
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In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.
I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.
I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.