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MY ODD GOOGLES - and other strange searches

Thursday, Dec. 11, 2003 @ 8:22 pm
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Sometimes I look at the things people have found this diary searching for and I nearly laugh, other times I find myself wondering what kind of sick planet I am trapped on. In lieu of writing an actual intelligent entry, today I am startinga record of sorts of some of searches that have turned up this diary.

Searches have been divided by search engine in the event that it was a variation of a search engine, for example UK Yahoo, I have simply put the variation in (), ie (UK). In some cases I have also added comments, purely for my own amusement, and yours if you share my rather bizarre sense of humor. I left out the boring searches, and some searches, such as Grinch Poem I have been hit for so many times it would fit in to any and all categories. Apparently people dont' realize a quick trip to any bookstore, or library could produce the original. At this point I am also taking the lazy way out, by not linking each search and the entry it hit.

MSN
Circus peanut jokes -apparently my layout wasn't enough of a joke (I used to have a circus peanut layout - long story)
military chant -by someone who flunked spelling
Not a bang but a whimper -and thus ends the world
dumming down of america -by people who don't capitalize the name of their own country, and also can't spell..
Nobody likes me everybody hates me -Then go eat worms. I doubt MSN makes much of a therapist.

Google
kiped female pictures -finally a thief who isn't ashamed to admit he likes stolen porn
Notes on Frankenstein -Hey I don't look that bad do I? Unless of course I just rolled out of bed.
Britney Spears butt crack -All together now EWWWWWW!!!
Whurld's End -in a whurl of chaos. Actually this is a legitmate search, thier web site is here. They had the suite across from us at Valley Con
Cracked on Meth-if you are on meth, its a safe bet you are cracked, just ask my ex..of course my computer also acts like it is cracked on meth, but that is another story.
"dial an idiot"-That would be 1-800-dip-shit, or there branch line which is my ex's number look in the phone book under Cass county jail.
Nobody Googles Me - So you decided to google yourself? Kinda defeats the purpose doesnt' it? Besides don't you go blind from that or ummm never mind.. I just had another bout of gutter-brain.
"Tired of love uninspired"-You sing it girlfriend.. I hear you loud and clear. Yes I am aware this is a line from the song Madeline Kahn sings in "Blazing Saddles" but its still funny and quite true.
Cranky Kids -Some days I feel I'm becomming a reluctant expert on this subject.
cats chocolate eat- Cats sick get. Not good for cats, even worse for dogs. People seem to be the only one's screwed up enough to be able to eat chocolate and only get fat and pimply.. Lucky us..

AOL
stupid tests -I have several pages of these
used mini vans -I have one of these too
Krolls Diner -hopefully nobody I know finds me thru this one
Pop tarts heartburn - tell me about it. Those things are disgusting
MOON MOOD FARGO ND-Like PMS, or just my usual looniness, cause Fargo does have more than its share of loonies. Actually I finally did find out something real on this place. Apparently there is some sort of business in Moorhead with this name, but I have no idea what they do, and I'm not sure if I want to know.
"eve of destruction" cracked services-
For fixing the house after your hippy friends drop in, drop out, and get a little carried away in the process

"my son" wish OR wishing OR wished or wishes "never been born" -jesus - umm I think you need a Psychiatrist, or a Priest, I somehow doubt AOL is going to have your answers.

If you're crazy and you know it (Canada)-keep a journal to document it. Now they've found out one of my worst kept secrets.

Yahoo
denial river(UK) -I've sailed this stream many times
housework spank service(UK) -Please tell me this is some kind of British slang for beating rugs, and not some bizare new in home pornographic maid service
Norwegian house 1800s -Can't be much help there
CheckyChees-For hungry illiterates who love giant dancing rodents
Hurricane Alex - You have no idea how appropriate this name is for a hurricane. Just checkout my cast list

LookSmart
Mom's Incest -now that's just disgusting

Start.shaw.ca
you are so Blessed-Why thank you! Yes I am blessed but sometimes I forget.

CometSystems
Humiliations heels-don't feel bad, that happens to almost every woman the first time she wears heels

More to come I am sure..

Last updated - August 5, 2004

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Daily Dumbass: I quote a caller today.."Can you add that for me. I'm in California and um I can't add very well anyway>
Thankful For: Warren had a 100% day and no homework..
Music of the mind: : Superstition...

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Mini-Bio

In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.

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