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Mother Worries

2001-06-12 @ 10:22 p.m.
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I think I've been thinking too much lately.. I've been thinking about religion, and parenthood, and other assorted not so simple subjects..

I really feel like I should give Warren a religion to belong to.. I am raising him with my beliefs, but I feel like he needs something more.. But I can't seem to find something that I feel comfortable with, and agree with.. I am a Christian and I was raised Catholic.. but I can't reconsile my beliefs with the Church.. Some where 1000's of Ultra Conseritive ancestors are rolling in their graves at what happened to the grandchildren of Andrew V.. Not just me either. but I'm the one who got pregnant out of wedlock, shacked up for eight years with an abusive alcholic, has Gay friends, and is proud of them, and has birth control.. Gasp.. I hear coffins rattling all thru the former German villages in what is now Russia. I just feel like such a hypocrite standing up in a Church that has beliefs I just can't agree with.. yet everytime I'm with Mom I plaster a smile on my face and fake my way thru.. I used to love Midnight Mass at Christmas.. now its like I dread the whole season.. I've attended a few other Churches but non of them seem to be quite what I want. OH Well.. at leasst my son will learn to get to know people and judge them by their character not what they happen to look like..

On a completely different note, Warren went swimming at daycare and then again tonight when Roy (Big Brother of sorts)came to spend some time with him. He was depressed a bit because non of them will let him go of the diving board either.. I wouldn't when we were at the pool Sunday.. He is a good swimmer, but I am such a paranoid mother, esp when it comes to Water.. (I almost drowned once, actually twice, both times I was just lucky enough some one pulled me out, one time was a stranger, the other my Dad.). He says that his Dad lets him but he is right there with him, and Mike is a very excellent swimmer, I on the other hand am phobic about deep water.. IF I can touch bottom I am fine, but other wise--PANIC CITY population 1 terrified momma. I couldn't handle a cruise if they paid me to take it.. I would be having Titanic nightmares the whole time.

Warren was exhausted tonight.. Today his behavior was 200% better.. I also managed to reschedule his Tova test, that I missed because they forgot to send a reminder note, adn I like a dunce forgot to write it down..

Today I think I may make it, One day at a time.. somedays up, others eh..


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In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.