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Where I throw a temper tantrum

12.06.03 @ 23:48
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Cover your ears. This is the entry where I proceed to whine and moan and carry on irrationally like a two year old who can't have their way.

I just feel this urge to drop on the floor and have a good old fashioned temper tantrum. I want my way, and I want it now, but its not working that way, andI can't figure out how to make it work. I'm mad and tired, and frustrated and uber cranky. I want my cookies and lunch too. I made this mess and now Ican't seem to get my self out of it.

I am just sick of being stressed. Right now it is all I can do to not hyperventillate. I am tired but I can't sleep. I'm wide awake and exhausted. I have forty million things I need to do, and the energy and desire to do none of them.

I hate my life, I hate my job, I hate not driving, even though if I would have had my shit ina group I would be able to start driving again tommorrow. I will be driving soon, but not soon enough.

I'm also talking to Calthea about the room we are doing at Valley Con this fall. It's helping, but my brain just isn't in it. I really want to do this and make it work, its gonna be a blast. But tonight its all I can do to hold it together.

Everything just feels fucked up right now. Like I'm constantly reaching for somthing that is just at my finger tips, but as soon as I get almost a grip, it flys just out of reach. I have to concentrate or I will flip out, I will start freaking. Either I rein it in completely, or I will loose it.

I hate my brain.

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Mini-Bio

In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.

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