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All Around the Mulberry Bush

01.12.02 @ 23:12
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No you aren't imagining things, I decided to unlock my diary. I've thought about it, and am a little less paranoid right now. SA* (Buffy loving former coworker)if that was you who had read a bunch of entries, sign my guestbook and let me know. I have no problem with you reading it at all. After thinking about it, it occurred to me, that it may have been you, since I did give you the addy. And besides I am tired of getting barely any hits.

But if I see repeated hits from *** and I know what IP number to look for, and no guestbook signing to indicate who it is, I will lock it up again, and only those on my notify list, who I know who you are, and that is pretty much everyone on there right now will have password, unless you email me so I know who you are.

Warren had another pass, and we had a great day. We never go to see Treasure Planet as it didn't quite work out that way. But we did have a good day together, and then we went for a bike ride/walk (translation: he rode bike, I walked) to Krolls diner for supper. Warren had a BLT, and Knoepfla that he couldn't finish, and I had yummy chicken strips. Then we came back so he could shower and so forth.

Once we got back however Warren had a meltdown. He wanted to bring and keep a few of his matchbox cars. (The kid has about 5 billion of them). But becuase of the fact they have so many kids, and toys were getting mixed up, and lost etc.. they aren't letting kids have toys from home. (They can have a special from home pillow, blanket, book, bible, stuffed animal, clothes, pictures)However they had made a small exception for one kid. (Which I totally understand. He is about 5 or 6 and currently has no home. He had his birthday in the hospital and no family or foster family came to even see him. So they made up a story and got him some birthday gifts. How can anybody have a child and just abandon him? I swear there ought to be rules about who is allowed to have kids. Some people have no business reproducing. Poor guy) But Warren being tired and cranky was in no mood to be rational. Poor guy. He has it tough, but sometimes I don't think he understands that while yes something in his life suck and are not fair, he also has it pretty good. Yes is mom and dad fight constantly, but we also both love him dearly and I would do anything to be with my baby. I guess that's a lot to grasp when you are only 9, and you aren't getting your way.

Mike was actually for the most part being decent today. He was outside in the garage, sorting his crap. HE has a place and is ready to move his clothes and crap, but has some work to do here. The place is only temporary until he finds a job and can afford his own place. I am being nice (is it possible to have a Jello spine and still walk upright?) and letting him keep his crap in the garage for now. But I still plan to change the locks.

I am praying for that job to come thru, or for somebody to call me. Tommorrow its back to hitting the pavement so to speak. Resume's and applications galore again. UGH. I am so sick of this. And I am behind on my mortgage for Novemember, and no I owe December as well. Anyone got a spare grand lying around that you aren't using? (just kidding, I hate borrowing cause paying back sucks).

On the bright side, only three weeks until LOTR:TT. And I am such a geek I even want to see Nemesis. So I guess things aren't too bad, at least I can still afford to treat my depession with some cinematherapy. Hopefully next weekend I will be able to take Warren to Treasure Planet, he is really looking foreward to it. Meanwhile another week with no real paycheck. This is starting to get frustrating.

At first it was no problem to continue to get up and get going and hit the ground. But after a month of no job, I am getting rather frustrated and discouraged. I feel like a salmon trying to buck the current on my way to spawn, and then die. Instead of getting up in the morning, I've reverted back to staying up half the night and then sleeping until noon. This is not good. I need to get back to a routine, but right now I just don't seem to give a damn. I just need to hit something. Or maybe I'll just open the window and scream until they come with a white jacket and take me away. Rubber wall paper sounds rather good right now.

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Mini-Bio

In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.

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