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Interview Me

Saturday, Aug. 16, 2003 @ 5:10 pm
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**If you want to interview me, or if you want me to ask you questions, just go ahead and sign my gustbook, or leave me a note**

1 -- Leave a comment if you want to be interviewed.

2 -- I will respond; I'll ask you five questions.

3 -- You'll update your diary with my five questions, and your five answers.

4 -- You'll include this explanation.

5 -- You'll ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed.

Where do I start. It is a very challanging experience you are right, but it can also be rewarding. The biggest challanges I would say is the fact that I am the only parent 95% of the time. If there is a decision to be made, I have to make it alone, without a father to give input, if I want to go out, I have no built in backup, everything that comes up has to be handled by me, there is no pinch hitter so to speak. It can certainly be a challange even on an everyday basis, from figureing out schedules and getting him to assorted appointments, to making dinner and taking care of household chores. All of the responsiblity falls on me. Not to say that it is always a bad thing. As a control freak (classic first born if ever there was), this also means, that except where my son has a say, I always get it my way (well almost always), so it is actually a bit of a trade off. I am also probably closer to my son, that I otherwise might be, were things different. Since his father is not around enough, or dependable enough to be counted on, I am the only parent who has been there thru everything. Our family is just the two of us. We talk to each other maybe a bit more than most moms and sons, and I have found him talking to me sometimes about things a boy might normally not want to talk to his mom about. It also means that I probably spend alot more time with him, than I would if I had a husband, or other children. So I view it as a trade off. Yes I wish he had a better father, but I can't change other people, so I just try to make the best of what I have. Warren is learning to do the same.

Okay for this one you might want to get comfortable, as it could take awhile. I've been asked this a few times, by non fans. I'll try to give the condensed version as I could easily write a book.

My love of Star Wars is something that has been a part of me for a very long time. It started a long time ago, in a theatre far far away (sorry, but you had to know this was comming). I was 7 or 8 and there was a new hit movie everyone was talking about. Wanting to be like everyonce else I begged my mom to take me. While she was totally bored out of her mind, and proceeded to give me the whole Eddie, Liz, blah blah which at the time I had no idea what she was talking about. As the opening fanfare came up, I had a feeling there was just something different happening. I sat thru that entire movie without moving. I was totally into it. I had never seen a movie even remotely like it. The story just left me fascinated and wanting more. I loved the action, I developed my first crush (which I still have btw) on a then very young Harrison Ford. I wanted to see this movie again and again, but alas my parents had other ideas. The story, the effects, the action it was like being transported somewhere magical. All my real life concerns and problems (as many as anyone can have at 7) were gone. I was in love, and I wanted to be Princess Leia. Unlike most female heroines, she didn't wait to be rescued, she didn't scream or flee in terror. She stood up to the bad guy, bossed the would be rescuers around, said what she felt and didn't take crap from anyone. She was a respected leader, and she knew how to shoot and take care of herself. . I got ahold of the book and read it cover to cover in one night. Then life went on until 3 years later, when ESB came out. I wasn't able to see it in theatre's no matter how much I begged because we were leaving on a trip to my aunts. So my fandoms was still there but fell to the wayside. Than Return of the Jedi came out, and it came back in spades. I was a card collecting, video watching fool. I subscribed to the comic book (Marvel), read Starlog and also at this time developed a Star Trek fandom as well. When ever things were hard, or I had a tough time coping and needed a mental escape I could take off on the Millenium Falcon and battle the Sith, or hop on the Enterprise for adventure where no one has gone before. There was action and adventure, lovable characters, story, and something that reached deeper. I can't really explain it. It was like looking at a mirror version of real life being acted out by imaginary characters. For the first time I discovered that I could but my real world issues on to imaginary characters and work things out from a distance. My imagination and my desire to read everyting I could get my hands on exploded. Not to mention there were some damn cute guys to stare at, especially for a chubby, shy adolescant girl with not so tradionally female interests.

As I grew older and read more and re watched the movies as an adult I started to see that they also ran deeper than just an action story. I could see that these movies also worked on a much deeper level. There was philosphy, religion, mythology, and psychology in these stories. It was clear that George had really done his homework, there was symbolism and archetypes and a masterful retelling of ancient stories that man has been telling since the days of Gilgamesh. There is a universal appeal. Anakin isn't just a good guy gone bad, he is representatie of how any person can make bad choices and choose the dark path, when they let thier feelings and emotions take control. He wasn't born that way, he chose that way. The major question is why? What lead him to make these choices? It is about a son, discovering the truth about his father and in the process about himelf. It is about the redemtion of evil, and can and evil person be redeemed? On a much smaller level these are questions we all have to ask ourselves? Star Wars is full of such universal theme's. What is evil? Where does it come from? The quest for the father figure. The hero's quest, adventure. Theme's found through out literature. It touches something deeper.

There are also amazing special effects and movies with so much that everytime I watch I see something new. It is always cutting edge, and Lucas has revolutionized movie making, and cinematic story telling. He continues to do so, and is one of my all time hero's in real life. He had a dream, he set out, worked his ass off and made it happen and did it on his own terms. Something I really try to emulate when I can .

I think there were many advantages that I had in a very small town (pop. <1500). I graduated high school in a class of 33 kids. Of those 33 about 29 of us had been together since the first day of kindergarten. Everybody in town knew everyone else. It was, while not idylic definately a much safer and more relaxed environment. I remember oncce when I was 9, I spent the night at my friend Melissa's house. It was a Friday night and we went to the 7 o'clock show and then stayed and went to the 9pm show which was Grease. Afterward we walked home at 11pm by ourselves, half way across town. And neither of our parents thought anything of it. (though if my mom had actually SEEN Grease she might have had a different opinion). The thought of letting Warren do that now, I think CPS would have my head on a platter. I remember times where I missed the bus and caught a ride with my Dad's cousin who lived near the school. Even though my parents weren't home at the time, and cell phones didn't yet exist, they already knew when they got home. To this day I have no idea how they knew. It was great in that kids were free to be out around town, with no worry about safety. Nobody thought about child abduction or pedophila. Everybody knew everybody. If something happened the word was around town faster than the internet. Everybody knew who you were. My dad could drive down Main and know who was in town and where just by the cars parked there. Because it was such a small town, all the teachers knew all of the kids. There was no hiding in the back, or blending in. If you didn't have your work done, that was it. And if you got in trouble the teachers knew your parents out side of school, so it was guaranteed that it would get back to them. I was babysitting my younger brother alone by 11. At 12 I was making big bucks (for a 12 year old) taking care of the neighbor kids (who are now grown and married and making me feel old). I think even though I could do more than I will let my son do, in some ways I was also much more protected. Crime was none existant. We had one cop in the entire town, and one highway patrol. Everybody knew everybody's business. Which also made it harder for outsiders, or anyone who was a little bit different. It was a very conservative town, and a very uptight Christian run town. Anybody who didn't fit into that mold, had a very hard time. I was one of those people. While I had friends and mostly managed to fit in, I was also different enough to stand out and be considered a bit odd. I like much about my small town up bringing, but I also think I missed out on a lot that wasn't there simply because a small town doesn't have many of the same opportunities that a larger city would provide. It also left me a little more sheltered and naive than someone who came from a larger city. When I left home at 18 I was very naive.

I would say my biggest challange right now, is trying to deal with my own mental health issues, while also dealing with Warren's and trying to keep one step ahead of the wolf at the door, while balancing his #O*)*#@() father on the other hand. Its a daily juggling act and more often than not at least one ball ends up being dropped.

Since I can remember I have always loved cats. Growing up we always had at least one dog, and a barn full of cats. Cats always seemed so much more self sufficient and independant than dogs. Dogs were always so much more work. They needed constant human companionship. WE had a poodle so that meant grooming. He had to be let out, and walked. Cats more or less took care of them selves. Dogs live to serve and follow others. They are very leader oriented and pack minded animals. Cats on the other hand, are cat minded animals. Dogs will follow a leader, even when it is not wise. Cats on the other hand will only follow if they feel like it. You own a dog, but a cat owns you. Cats are everybit as smart as dogs, its just that they choose not to follow us unless there is something in it for them. I also find that cat to be one of the most graceful animals. Watch a cat in action, especially the large cats. They are beautiful. Yet they are also a conundrum. They are one of the most effient predators on the planet (land animals) and yet also the most maternal when it comes to thier offspring. They have been known to steal other cats kittens to mother. When a dog falls it looks around for help and wonders what the ???. A cat falls the same distance, gets up looks around says "I meant to do that" and goes on its merry way. I guess that it basically comes down to that while I dont' hate dogs I prefer cats. Dogs always seemed to me like blind followers, while cats are independant thinkers who follow their own lead.

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~*~Have you read these~*~

~ Ode to a child who is no more ~
~ She's baaack ~
~ testing ~
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~ Bleech ~

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Mini-Bio

In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.

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