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The Bashful One Dyes..

2001-08-12 @ 4:17 p.m.
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Only two more quiet childfree hours till Warren comes home. I guess I should be making the best of it. I am finally on my last load of laundry. Now I just need to get my assets out to the kitchen where the floor and the dishes really need my undivided attention. Sadyly I wook up in a bizare hyper-lazy mood. It can't be descibed it is like being manic and depressed at the same time. I feel bouncy and also lethargic. I have the urge to do several things, but i have to kick my self to get up and do anything. It took all I had to get the laundry put away instead of just leaving it in the basket like I used to do all the time. At least I vacuumed the living room which is a start. It is worlds better looking in here than what it often looks like.

Yesterday I didn't do anything but make a good butt impression in my sofa. I did go and get Warren's school supplies.. Even with the YWCA give away I still wound up having to spend money.. I had to by more pencils and some kleenex's and ziploc baggies, and a deck of cards (for second grade?? What are they gonna do, teach math thru blackjack?? LOL). I also bought him some jeans that were on clearance, and an Utility T-Shirt with a dragon on it. Now lets hope he likes them well enough to wear them. Its an endless battle that will wage till he is an adult. He is growing up and wants more independence from mom as he forms his own ideas about things, I have my wisdom (stop laughing, I mean it stop it) from experience, and my desire to keep him a little boy a little longer. He sees me as trying to control him, I see it as protecting my baby. I also see that I need to start letting go. Its time to face the fact that he is his own person. At least he still loves Star Wars and Harry Potter so I know I have gotten some thru to him. He still needs his mommy, he just needs to act like he doesnt' when he is around peers. He comes to my bed at night and wants to cuddle in the mornings, he just doesn't relish the idea of any of his friends seeing him hug his mommy. *sigh. I guess they grow up too fast. He is only 8.

I knew today was going to be one of those days when I woke up and discovered my 'monthly buddy' decided to come visit last night. Most women have PMS before they get a vist, I get grouchy when it arrives. Cramps, cravings, and ultra crankiness. I wonder if that is related to the way my Manic depressive brain is wired. It would explain alot.

I finally did something about my hair. I didn't like it at first but now it has kind of grown on me. Afte work I went to the same hair place I have been going for the last 10+ years. Mary and Carol weren't working, but instead there was some new girl I didnt' know.. I told her I needed to clean it up and get rid of all the split broken or otherwise unhealthy hair. She showed me how much it would takeoff, but I bit my lip and said do it. It looks much thicker now. It is only hair, so I know it will grow out again. Saturday I colored my hair. I finally got fed up with the grey streaks so I dyed it my usual light auburn color. IT really came out good. The darker hair has a nice auburn color and the grey parts took a nice light auburn highlight. My hair looks a lot brighter now. It is very short comparted to what I am used to, it is above my sholders, barely long enough for a poneytail. I have always had hair that was down to my bra-strap. It should be interesting to see how everyone reacts at work. They made a deal on my birthday, and I about crawled under my desk.. I hope they understand. I really really appreciated all of it, but I dont' like being on the spot. I hate attention, well most of the time. I would make a lousy actress, because I hate the spotlight. I prefer to sit back and be known anoymously. Does that even make sense. Heck when I was younger the idea of being in front of a group would be enough to paralyze me. When I was really young I would hide if we had company. I even had an accident once in first grade, because I was too bashful to raise my hand. Hard to believe I grew up to deal with the public for a living isnt' it!?!

Is almost 5 pm here right now, so I better get off line and get busy so I am ready to pick up Warren very shortly. I can't believe it only a couple more weeks till school is back. You know you are a grown up and the comming of school makes you cheer instead of boo!! Man I feel old.


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~*~Have you read these~*~

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In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.