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28.05.02 @ 00:28
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I feel like I need to write but I am not sure what or how to say it.

I just keeping thinking back to a bubbly shy little girl with long dark blonde hair. Did she know what was going to happen to her, did she know what path she was on. She thought she had many options, but then things started changing as she grew up. But there was still a future. Something happened to her. No one knows for sure what.

Some think she was ill, some think she just had an attitude problem. But some how things started to slowly go wrong. They didnt' just slide downward in a continual path, there were up periods, and things seemed like no matter how bad they would get, they would always go up again. But then the downs got longer and the ups got shorter. Before she knew it the downs were over taking the ups and life was turning in to a snowball headed for hell. She would try to go up, but all around her, people and events seem to conspire to make sure she wasn't allowed to. Part of me wants to hug her, part of me wants to shake here. Part of me wishes she would just jump ship and stop being so strong. The rope is breaking and there is no one to catch her. She can only hang on for so long.

I look back at this litte girl and try to figure out where the path took a wrong turn, what could she have down differently. How did she end up at this particular destination. It doesn't really matter as there is no way to undue it, but that doesn't make the road any easier to travel. There will be an up soon, but when. When will she get a brake, when will she feel like the old person she was again.

Right now she just wants to go to bed, cuddle her pillows and never leave. Who needs reality, when fantasy is so much easier to cope with.

What time is the check out of this motel in hell anyway?


Prequels ~ Sequels

Daily Dumbass:
Thankful For:
Music of the mind: :

~*~Have you read these~*~

~ Ode to a child who is no more ~
~ She's baaack ~
~ testing ~
~ Facebook me ~
~ Bleech ~

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In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.