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Like Sands thru the Hour glass

01.02.02 @ 21:57
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"The snack that smiles back, until you bite their heads off, new flavor blasted goldfish". The ex that lies and whines, until you kick his ass out, new ego blasted Mike-y".

Well I am writing this from home, not at Mt.Rusmore. The trip is off, and as I am hiding my dissapointment oh so well, Warren is to say the least hurt. Its been a long hell day. It started this morning, Warren was in a good mood, but when I didnt' have his clothes packed for his trip as he dad was supposedly going to pick him up at school, he had a serious hissy fit. Normally I am able to understand and cope with him, this morning I just wasnt in the mood to deal with him. It ended up with the two of us yelling at each other and me comming off like a total bitch (something I got too good at today). His clothes were in the dryer, because I was just too pooped for the concept of popping last night. He stomped off and just barely made the bus, in a very bad mood. I feeling totally guilty and bad mommyish, quickly packed his clothes (I knew I wasn't going anywhere), and brought them to school for him. I saw Warren as I was leaving the school, but of course he was so mad he wouldn't even talk to me. I was feeling guilty, but also angry (motherhood is a thankless but wonderful job. Unfortunatley the thanks don't always come when you need them). I was late to work, but that was not a big deal.

I ended up shadowing a new traines as she adjusts to being on the phone. Unfortunately I was in the wrong mood to play effective teacher. I have a heard time with the patience needed for someone who is still learning. I know too much and have to fight the urge to jump in and take over. I think we still managed to cover a lot though. I hope she doesn't think I am a total bitch. I'm not, unless I am having Mike issues, like I am as of late.

At about 4 or 4:30 I get a call from FYC, because Mike never showed up to pick up Warren, and Warren was, justifyably upset, to say the least. So I spent a good 20 minutes on the phone calming Warren down. Then I called his umm "father", up.

Suddenly mr. I have plenty of money and tiem and want to celebrate had other obligations and cant' take the trip. (I wouldn't have gone anyway). He forgot all about picking up Warren. JERK OFF!!! I picked up Warren and he was still pretty upset. While I was signing Warren out, him and another buy were goofing off or something and Warren had a hold of the kids paper plastic "sword". I told Warren to let go, but the other kids mom had to get into it also, then she goes up to my son and starts with "that was mean" loud. twice yet. Bitch.. disipline your own monster.

AFter I picked Warren up, we went to Culver and talked over some cheese curds. He was still upset, but seemed to have calmed down. Only 8 years old and he already knows "When my dad makes promises, I'm not gonna believe him anymore". I wish he would let me hug him or something. He is so non huggy lately unless it is bed time. He seemed in a better mood when I left him. Mike's place isn't too bad. But I still feel so bad.

The notes from Warrens teacher indicate that his behavior has been harder emotionally. He was even crying this morning apparently. I guess Mike and I are tearing him appart. Its no coincidence that with Mike having overnights again, and Warren getting off the risperdal that Warren has been having behavior issues. When it rains it pours.

After I dropped him off I did pick up a copy of "Wind in the Door" by Madeliene L'Engle. Its a sort of sequel to "Wrinke in Time". He loved that book soo mcuh and talked it about it for days. "Just one more page mom. Just one more chapter" "What do you think the black thing was? "do you think it controled the brain" "why would everyone wnat to be alike, yuck" My son, is he a genius or what. Not that I am biased. I am hoping to get him the whole series. I think her books are excellent children's lit and hopefully some fantasy escapism will help Warren cope. It worked for me as a kid. It also helps expand his imagination.

Now go hugs your happy kids and kiss your wonderful husbands if you got them. You have no idea how lucky you are. Or smart. Next I pick a man I will think above the equator, not below it. Gets me in trouble everytime. Not that there have been many times.


Prequels ~ Sequels

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~*~Have you read these~*~

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In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.