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Emotional Whiplash.. lookout

26.03.02 @ 14:46
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I think I just gave myself another case of emotional whiplash. I still feel rather down, and self blamey about Warren's problems, but not quite as bad as yesterday. I want to thank everyone who was kind enough to leave such wonderful supporting messages. YOU GUYS ROCK!!

I made a few (several) phone calls and internet searches. I think I may have found another child care that is within walking distance of Warren's school. She sounds wonderful, and it's less than what I pay now. I hope this works out. She has a son who is a couple years older than Warren and some boys that come who are around his age. So I am crossing my fingers and toes and saying my prayers. They are very active and outdoorsy which is a definate plus in my book. Warren is very bright child, but he also went back for thirds when God was handing out energy. On the other hand this is also turning out to be a rather small world. She is good friends with my neighbor A* (next door) and her kids, well actcually they are nephews(I think or grandchildren I am not sure which), who I will refer to as the J-Kids since they all have names starting with J (and some one in the family was apparently a ST fan). Warren knows these kids (as they are practically neighbors)and sometimes they are friends and sometimes they are at Warren. And if I am not mistaken this is the same neighbor who is practically related to another online (and realife friend) making this one very small world. I tell you six degrees seems like too much some days. So cross your digits and say a prayer for me to the deity of your choice. I hope to all that this works.

Right now we are in the process at work of totally switching phone sytems. In the long run this will be great as the digital phones are way superior to our current analog ones, but the process is turning out to be something less than fun. I am just eager to get my new voice mail box up and running.

Work is also rather slow right now, so I have time to write this. I spent a large part of last night trying to come up with ways to alter my schedule so that I can be home when Warren is home, but even if I came in earlier it would mean that I would need someone to make sure he gets on the bus and has his stuff ect, so I feel caught between a rock and a hard place. I hope things work out, in a few years he will be too old for most child care, but too young, in my opinion, to be home alone. I know I am more overprotective than many, but there are just so many horror stories. I know my son. If there is trouble to be found he is the one to find it. Time to start signing up for those after school activities. the only way I could be home would be to give up nearly 5 hours a week, would would mean almost $200 a month. On my budget that is a huge chunk of change and I just can't afford that. My daycare is only about $30 - $40 a week, but still. On the other hand, hmm that is something to think about. I just don't want to loose my benefits, or status.

Stupid insert colorful metaphor ex. Must be nice to just move on from one woman to another and only have to play parent when it is convenient and fits in with your life. Ugh!! I blame his as much as me for all of this, yet in many ways I feel more responsible. I was the one who risked getting pregnant. I picked a jerk. I kept my baby, when I knew it was anything but an ideal situation. I love my son, but I just feel like I am doing everything wrong. I know I am not doing it all wrong, but I just can't seem to see straight anymore. argg.. No wonder only women have babies. Men couldn't handle it.


Prequels ~ Sequels

Daily Dumbass:
Thankful For:
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~*~Have you read these~*~

~ Ode to a child who is no more ~
~ She's baaack ~
~ testing ~
~ Facebook me ~
~ Bleech ~

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In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.