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Proud Momma Braggin Time

27.08.01 @ 22:45
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Well today was a bit better than yesterday, mood-wise anyway. I was still in a seriosly bithcy mood at work, but I was able to keep it under control. Telling stupid people just how dumb they are is not the best way to keep my job. I could on some calls that I was having a bit of a harder time then others. I was never rude or anything, but my patience was definately on the thin (okay anorexic)side. It also didn't help that I was plaqued by sneezing and coughing fits all day, and my stupid mute wasn't working. Ugh. Now thats nasty. But I made it a point to make it up to people by going out of my way for the warm hand off, even when it meant listening to the worlds worst elevator music for several minutes at a time. Now that is a form of torture that should be outlawed by the Geneva Convention.

Today was Warren's first day of school, as those of you who have been following already know. It was a bit hectic this morning, but not too bad. He had a wonderful day. Though I think it was a bit long, when I got to afterschool care to pick him up, he was asleep. poor guy. I told them if he is that tired, to let him have a nap, otherwise he will be in a Very bad mood. At first he didnt really want to talk about school. "Just don't talk to me yet okay mom." Okay. so I laid off, and with in a few short minutes he was happily telling me about how Jordan got hit in the face by the water fountain, and how their class set the record for the most points by a second grade class, and he had a 100% day. Its amazing what a change has happened since this time last year. He is so much more grown up already. He has a long way to go, but he is so much more mature already. Tonight when I was putting him to bed he was telling me about how he wants to earn lots of points for this teepee. And on his own I swear, he told me. "No one can make me behave, I am the only one with the power to decide if I have good behavior or bad behavior". My god I almost fell to the floor. Do you know how old I was before I learned this lesson. I am soo proud I could cry. I know he is hardly grown up by any means, but still to even say that, when last year he would have thought it was a bunch of jelly beans is amazing. (in case you're wondering in our house when someone is full of BS, we say they are full of jelly beans. Don't ask where I came up with that, I've just always used that expression with him.)He was also talking about how he wants to work hard this year, and maybe he won't need the base program. YES!! Its only the first day, so who knows how he will feel in a week or a month, but we are so definately on the right track. Now I am beyond positive that tossing Mike out on his manipulative, nasty, drunken, stoned behind was the best thing I have ever done. With all the progress Warren has made in the last year I wouldn't take Mike back if he came crawling on his hands and knees, offering to be my slave. I feel liberated. Yet some how it is also hard. It is easier with out Mike as I was on my own even when he was here. But now, when things go down I have no one to blame except myself. Dont get me wrong, I still believe in he two parent family, but I am also open minded enough to know that in some case the child would be better off (and so would the parents) if the parents split. As some one much wiser than me, whose name I can't think of once said. "I keep and open mind, but not so open my brains fall out."

Tonight after I picked Warren up, we went to Wal-Mart to return his jeans which he decided didn't fit after all. I used some of the money to eat out and celebrate his wonderful first day of school. (I have direct info from schoool that he was telling the truth.). Then we went home. He had some tense moments when he was working so hard to try and draw this picture of a jet, or specifically the tail section of one, and it wasn't comming out the way he wanted. He gets so upset when things can't come out of his hands the way the appear in his mind. He had a picture he looked up in a kids dictionary, but he was having some trouble copying. I managed to get him in a nice bath and that seemed to calm him down. then I tried laying with him in his room. (I've decided, that while I love the cuddle time with him, I also need some space, so we are going to try a compromise.) I let him try again, with the agreement to quit if he got frustrated. Wouldn't you know he drew a wonderful picture. If I had a scanner I would put it up. It took lots of patience and my laying with him, but after that I finally got him to sleep. He still doesnt get this need to be alone. "Mom, I only want to be alone when I'm on the pot" (potty-not that you couldn't figure that out.)I told him when he was older it would all make sense.

I think I have also figured out part of what was causing my mood problems. I went to the girls room tonight, I discovered my monthly vistor has come for her week at my house. I had a feeling as I am usually my bitchiest when it is that time. I also have the urge to eat everything edible. Now that you know more information than you probably ever wanted to I am going to check my email, put clothes in the drier, throw in a last load, and hit the hay. G'night.


The not so Cranky One


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In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.