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"My name is Inego Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die"

15.02.02 @ 17:12
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Well the verdict is in and my new layout appears to be a hit. Yayy. I wasn't sure on the orange shade, I wanted an orange from the painting, but not one that was so bright I would blind people. Orange is such a tricky color that way.

I am home early from work because the West Fargo school system likes to march to thier own drummer so Warren has no school and I had no one else to watch him since his Dad had to work at 2:30. Its only 5pm but I feel like it is much later. I think I have a mini migraine comming on. I still need to figure out supper, though I doubt Warren will be hungry as he just polished away half a loaf of Cinnamon Raison Bread from the Master Bakery thrift store we stopped at on the way home today. He is outside enjoying a beautiful day with lots of play time and no school. It was snowing earlier, big fluffy flakes, but now it is nice out again and thawing. I tell you the weather this year has been positively bizarre.

There is also alot of pregnancy talk about on DLand recently. Congrats are inorder. I am very happy for everyone, but I seem to be the few moms and or marrieds, who doesnt' desire any more kids. I love babies, especially other peoples babies that I can hug and cuddle and love and send home at the end of the night. I love my son to pieces and he is the most important person in my life, but my self worth is not dependant on him. I enjoy the fact that he is old enough to actually have a conversation with, that I can spend time alone. I am done with diapers and 3 am feedings, and potty teaching. I have very fond memories of these, but have no desire for more. I am a mother first and formost, but that is not ALL I am. I had an education and skills before I became a mom. I have a taste of life outside the house. My first job is being a mom, but I am also a daughter, friend, sister, employee, computer nerd, foster kitty momma, and numerous other things. Children have a nasty habit of growing up and becoming indivual people and I don't think it is fair that I should live my life thru Warren. That is not fair to him. He is not me, and I am not him. He is my son, but we are two different people. His accomplishments and his failures are his. While his values and behavior are a reflection of how I choose to raise him, as he gets older they are less me, and more his choice. If he becomes and Eagle Scout or a drug addict, the choice will be his and not a personal slam on me. Blaming myself for his failures will not help him. It will only eat me up, and quite likely lead me to make some bad decisions in the name of easing my conscience.

I saw this with many of my mom's generation. They wrapped so much up into the kids that when suddenly the last bird had left the nest they were totally lost. I've also seen what happened to my mom, who depended on my dad for absolutely everything, (and I do mean everything she didn't even drive hardly) and then my dad was gone and suddenly she had to learn to do for herself. Fortunatley my brother and I were grown up and my dad had left plenty of money, but many women find themselves 'widowed in to povery' because they went straight from mom and dad to hubby and never learned to be on their own first. Others find themselves 50 year old with and empty house looking around adn wondering what they missed.

I believe in staying at home with one's kids, but I believe that a woman should first be on her own and have an education. Then get married and once the couple has established themselves and are both in agreement they can start a family. It can and does work out with out doing this order. Many people are living proof, however why make it harder. Nobody enters marriage thinking it will end badly. But bad things can and do happen to even the best people.

Overachieveing Dad just called. Warren gets to help sell candy bars at SunMart tommorrow from 1-2. If you happen to be in the FM area and you see a Cub Scout, remember chocolate is good for the soul. Since we missed the pack meeting, Warren will get his beads, but he can't get his patches till the next one. WTF?? He earned them, but they can't have them unless they go thru some ceremony. I don't get it.

On the bright side I just found out one of my favorite movies is going to be on tonight. If you know the movie, the title of this entry should be a dead giveway. If not then you will have to figure it out. What could be better than Mandy Patinkin with a sword?

To answer a few other guest book questions: I havne't heard the audio version of HHGTTG, but I would dearly love to. I would also love to watch the tv version. I love DA he wrote some of the best DR. Who espisodes and if I am not mistaken was also a writer for Red Dwarf. I love Halloween and I don't think there is anything wrong with it, I just wanted a more subdued orange that would compliment the painting. I used a color picker for the colors but wasnt' sure if I picked the best ones. I would love to do B&N after (or perhaps while) Warren is pushing chocolate. Thanks for all the layout compliments. I did it in notepad, and downloaded the color picker off the net to get the right colors. And if the guestbook isn't working for some reason its probably because Bravenet is doing their bi-weekly backup/update. They seem to go down at least twice a month, but I have been using them so long I hate to change now.

Wow its almost 6pm, I guess I need to find something to tos on the stove for supper. I'm not hungry and I doubt Warren is after all that bread, but then that kid has the appetite of a human garbage disposale so who knows. Its so unfair that guys can eat like pigs and never gain an ounce, yet woman pack on 10 pounds looking at pictures in a cookbook.


Prequels ~ Sequels

Daily Dumbass:
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~*~Have you read these~*~

~ Ode to a child who is no more ~
~ She's baaack ~
~ testing ~
~ Facebook me ~
~ Bleech ~

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In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.