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These are the Voyages of the Starship Cranky

25.03.02 @ 23:18
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First of all, I think I need CA (Caffeine annonymous) or something. I woke up on the couch about 10:30 Sunday morning feeling like I had been folded, spindled and mutilated with my mouth filled with cotton. I got up, watched some M*A*S*H reruns and hopped on line for a few, but no one was around. I layed down, watched tv for awhile and then dropped off to sleep until almost 5pm. Then I woke with a massive headache. I ate took a shower and finally coaxed my sorry arse out of the house by 7:30 to hit the grocery store. I ended up at Ca$hWi$e. I can't believe I spent $80 worth of good book money on groceries. At least I came in under budget, and now we get to eat again for a couple weeks. Its amazing though one would think that $80 would buy more than could be carried by one person in three and half trips to the car. At least the cats were thrilled. Even with new cat food, they still found the people food much more interesting, at least till I popped the top off a fresh can of 9-Lives. Then they were all over that instead.

Tonght I discoverd that Chicken Tetrazini will never make my son's list of favorite dishes my mom makes. He at it, but it was not his idea of great stuff. Although I think the pop tarts and cookies may have helped. Oh well, at least I have lunch taken care of for tommorrow.

Speaking of mood swings (hey I don't mess complain about yoru segways), I am feeling rather down tonight. I had a meeting with the directores of Warren's after school program. Apparently his rage bouts have scared the staff enough and they dont' feel able to handle it, so I need to find new child care after Wed. One staff was even saying she was scared of him, as he is rather large. The majority of the time he is a sweet lovable little boy, but sometimes for reasons that only he understands he has these mood swings and rages. When he is calm and in a good mood, he can verbalize the appropriate way to handle anger, but when he gets raged, he isn't able to draw on that knowldege and act accordingly. That is the fourth daycare in a year that I have been thru. This is starting to get old.

I mean I understand why they feel that way. I don't blame them. HE is not a "typical" child. He is gifted, learning disabled and has behavior problems. That is not a combination that most people are trained to deal with. Especially since most of the staff that work there are just college kids. The one solution they did have, they arne't allowed to use. For awhile J* oneof the senior staff was having the kids do laps or pushups (budding PE teacher) instead of time outs and WArren loved it. It is what he needs when he has those fits. But they aren't allowd to do that. That is considered physical punishment. PUHLEASE!! My idea of physical punishment is hitting and slapping and beating, not making him drop and give 10. The activity is what he NEEDS to burn off the emotional energy in a constructive manner. A couple laps never hurt any one, if they didn't have a physical issue.

Tommorrow I start making calls again. I am praying on knees that the Y has an opening. Or another place close than can transport or that is in walking distance. They always start off great, then he decides for some reason he doesn't like it. I wish I could afford someone privately, but I don't know of anyone willing to work less than 20 hours a week for not much more money as it would only be about 1.5 to 2 hours a day max, plus some school vacation days. I don't even want to think about summer yet. Too bad the military doesn't have a Junior Junior Reserve. LOL. HE needs something that is semi structured and run by someone who knows how to deal with ODD kids.

The other half of the coin is that I feel so guilty all the time. I just know this is my fault. That I made Warren the way he is. I know it isn't rationale, but my mind doesn't work that way. If he had a better mother he wouldn't have these problems.


Prequels ~ Sequels

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~*~Have you read these~*~

~ Ode to a child who is no more ~
~ She's baaack ~
~ testing ~
~ Facebook me ~
~ Bleech ~

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In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.