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Pardon me, Is my attitude showing?

27.06.02 @ 21:17
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This heat is going to drive me insane. I have got to get the filters back on the air conditioner. Of course then I'll start running it. A $50 electric bill is bad enough. If I start running the AC it will hit the roof. If it gets any hotter I deal with it. Even the cats are being lazier than usual.

Maybe its the heat, maybe its my hormones, or maybe I'm just a bitch at heart. But lately my attitude has been well pissy. I just have to keep quiet to keep from snapping random head off. At work I just stare at my computer when not glaring at the phone. The only fun I have anymore is on the tf.n boards, and sometimes on other off list groups. I don't mind most of my co workers so much, as I am sick of anwering the same stupid questions over and over. I am sick of people who don't know a desktop from a screensaver. I've become stuck up. And if that don't beat all, I get bitched out for a case that doesn't make sense, when it does make perfect sense, but the guy doing the bitching didn't do his freaking homework. He later appologized, but I'm still torqued. I've become totally anti social.

On the other side, it seems Mike and ms. Flavor of the month are back together. Strange, I dont' want anything to do with Mike, I've never met FOTM, and yet I hate her. And I feel, I can't explain, like I'm being cheated on. But I'm not. I ended it and I want it ended. I guess I just want him to suffer and miss me, not move on with his life. I should be happy he's moved on. That means he'll leave me the freakin bloody alone.

Warren is 9 now, and boy is he showing it. I forgot how much 9 year olds love the gross out joke. And the pre adolescent attitude is definately comming into full bloom. One minute I want to hug him, and rock him. The next minute I feel the need for a large sign that says "kid for sale will work for food". He wants to grow up, faster than I am ready to let him grow up. I'm not ready for him to bike to daycare with out me. Next fall he wants to bike to school. Waaaa.. He's still a little boy.. he still needs his mommy..

Tonight it was so hot and crappy, and so was I. I couln't even bring myself to cook. We ended up at Royal Fork. Warren was talking a blue streak the whole time and instead of being intersted in his imaginations like I usually am, and shoudl be. I just keep thinking I wish he would shut off. Of course I was also ready to fall asleep in my salad, but now its back to sauna ville, so I sit here telling my secrets to random strangers.

Right now I'm going to bury myself in some fan fic if I can find some good ones, and see what's up on the tf.n boards or if there is any new activity on the MROSW board. (Long story). 2005 is too long to wait..

May the Force be with You.. at least Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid is comming on agian tonight. I've only seen it about 10 times. Not nearly enough..

For a minute there, I thought we were in trouble..


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In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.