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Warning Long entry ahead

16.07.03 @ 19:27
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Rat Bastard ex is gonna be even madder at me, but that's nothing new. I went to court today on the junk charges. (I have an entry on this in my archives somewhere, but I'll be darned if I can find it.). I was worried about it this morning after my Dr. Pepper exploded all over my shirt, and I knew I wouldn't have time to go home and change clothes. Fortunately it was a dark shirt and the stain dried to almost non noticable, except that my shirt was stickier on the inside. (yuck). I got to court 15 minutes early, and there is no one behind the little window where the clerk is normally found. (remember this is West Fargo, Fargo's Bastard step child). I rang the bell but no one. I look at the clock it says 3:15. I know I am supposed to be here at 3:30, but not a soul in site. I look in the court room where I see the judge and a cop shooting the bull. I close the door only to have it open 20 seconds later and a guy ask me if I need help.

I told him I had court at 3:30 and he asked me who I was. I told him I am Holly ****** (I know my last name is probably in here somewhere, but oh well). It turns out they are just waiting for me. I go in and sit down.

Then the lady prosecutor comes over to talk to me as the cop goes back to sit down and the judge goes back to what I assume would be his chambers. (where else would he go?).

One of the other people there, I assume who worked for the city mentioned that two other people who were supposed to be there never showed up. Then another person I think who was the assistant prosecuter gave me a joking look as he said "At least Holly is here" (like I'm going to risk jail over this bullshit).

Then the lady prosecuter, (who I can best describe as looking like a short, curvy cross between Bambi Bembenick, and Shelley Hack,). asks me if I intend to go thru with the trial. My answer "um well it depends" (I'm thinking give me an offer and I'm willing to talk). So she explained the whole issue, and let me give my side. They don't have a problem anymore with the front part (ie visible from the street), however the crap that Rat Bastard (from herein referred to as Rat or RB) left behind the garage, and his freaking ugly leanto storage shed, is still considered a health hazzard. I agree, but it is not my junk. Give me a legal grounds to do something (ie cover my butt) and I will gladly haul it all to the curb or pawn shop. After dragging some guy who works for the city and spelling it out for Madam Prosecutor they made me a deal that I can actually live with. And one which will give me a legal one up on Rat. And there is not thing one he can do about it, or I can haul HIS ass to court. they took pity on me because non of the shit was mine, however they also wanted to give me an incentive (like I need one) to clean it up.

It ended up with $100 fine, $75 of which is suspended for 45 days if I get the stuff cleaned up. They will give me everything in a letter I can then copy and forward to Rat. I can tell him he has 30 days to get it gone, or I will start tossing and pawning. IF it is not gone I will be hauled back to court and things could get ugly. The judge also informed me any property left after 90 days, is considered abandoned and I can do with it as I wish. So legally I can start tossing his crap. Eventually I would also like to get rid of that stupid Ugly shed he has. He is gonna hate it, but considering where he is. (The idiot) there is not thing 1 (sorry KL) he can do about it!!!!

It could have gone better, but I think I did all right for some one whose only legal knowledge comes from watching too much tv.

Warren complained today about S/S. He states they keep them too busy. They had to walk to the park twice and then they had to go swimming. (Those monsters, talk about torture). I know he was tired today, but he normally loves swimming. (HE would spend every waking day at the pool if he could). But he needs that structure. It's when he is bored that the little hamster in his head starts that wheel spinning in some directions is shouldn't be going. But he does also need free time to just be ten. I would think being at the park or the pool where they don't have a set of structured activities would do this, but I guess when you are pooped you just want to veg. He had a hella time getting up this morning and was asleep in the car on the way. (its only a ten minute drive). Tonight when I picked him up, he looked like an overdone casserole. He ate two peanut butter bagels some DR. Pepper. (I have tommorrow off) and then fell asleep by 6pm. I think his not sleeping at nights has finally caught up to him. Last night he fell asleep on the couch and wouldn't move for anything, so I just let him sleep there. He has been swimming at the free pool every night since Saturday.

I had the freakiest dream last night that I have had in along long time. I think I am dealing with the same stress issues as she is. Or at least we were both visited by the same dream monster. I dont remember all the details but the people who were my parents in my dream weren't my parents (ie the my real life parents), they were some people I've never seen before in my life. (does that make sense). And for somereason they had a child before me, and then they killed that child as a baby for reasons I don't totally understand and then they had me. And as an adult I was with them looking thru some bushy area's where we found my older baby brother, but he hadn't decayed or anything, aside from being dead he looked like had just taken his last breathe. Then things got really weird. With them talking about swinging him by his feet and bashing his head, and tossing him in the bushes. Then I woke up, with one of those WTF feelings. It was one of those dreams where you start to realize you are dreaming, but yet it is still like it is real. And when you wake up you kind of wonder WTF is going on. If anyone wants to figure out what that was all about, go right ahead. I have no clue. Too weird even for me. Even weird than when I was in high school and I dreamed the guys from Miami Vice were looking for my brother so they could cut off his head with a butter knife. I tell you my subconscious is one scary scary place.

Tommorrow Warren has another appt with Dr.J and Dr. W, who will be taking over with Warren for Dr. J since Warren won't cooperate with him anymore. I hope this goes better. Warren has some very good days, and periods and then he will get into one of those moods where he is just pissed and oppositional and no matter what you do you are stupid, and wrong and your only purpose in life is to ruin his. Yet this same child can also be the most loving, and lovable child. He is very bright, very outgoing (like Rat), very opinionated (like both of us), and is forced to deal with life in a dysfunctional family where Mom is Bipolar II, and dad is an out an out addict (alcholol, drugs, cigarettes, sex, you name it. And is probably also suffering from an undiagnosed mental illness of some kind, that he refuses to get help for. I would bet money on it). Its not suprising that this kid has problems. Its in the genes, but at least he unlike his parents is getting help now. I look back and wish someone has noticed that I wasn't just a different teenager, I was someone in need of help. All teens want space, but most don't bounce off the walls like a hamster on speed and then suddenly retreat to thier rooms for three days straight. (But then they were too busy worrying about my brother, who's "specialness" was a lot more obvious and who's problems my mother felt guilty about. I was the good one. I had good grades, I never got in trouble at school, I didnt' run around, I was clean. They didn't need to worry about me. Ironically now it is my brother is is doing great and having no problems, and me who is having nothing but problems.

Okay this is getting to be a novel, I don't know how I got on the above rant. Time to move on.


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In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.