Saturday I had to work. I had breakfast before I left but left in a bit of a hurry and didn't think to bring anything with me.. Stacy was late because she over slept. it was slow anthen it got busy.. then it slowed down again so Stacy left at 1pm. Of course by 1:30 the phones are going Nuckin Futs!! I am going into major caffiene withdrawl and by now my blood sugar is hitting the subbasement. All of which made it very hard to be polite to people who called repeatedly to ask simple or annoying questions. Heck even the nice intelligent ones with legitamate questions were getting on my nerves.. Time seemed to creep by so slow it was going backwards. Finally I had had it. I couldnt' get the cap off the bottle of JL desk soda, so I *gulp* insert guilt here. Wound up stealing a soda from the fridge in the breakroom. (I would have bought my own normally, but I am beyond broke at the moment.) I felt like a junky trying to get a fix.. It tasted like a little bit of heaven.. I immediately felt better.. So I went to Barnes and Noble. where I sat and finally read the Pierre Boulle "Planet of the Apes".. An excellent novel.. much more like the original movie than the Tim Burton version, though with a different ending.. I like the Tim Burton version, but it should have had a different name. A different view on the book.. IMHO with out Zira and Cornelius it aint POTA. I think the book has a better literary quality to it. Its like a parable of how humans are gettting lazy, and losing thier intelligence , and how badly we treat other species, and our limited view of what really constitutes intelligence. But I digress.. I had a cup along with me full of ice water.. I filled it up with ice a couple of times. eventually (long story torking off the stupid over zealous, coffee wench.. but evil me kicked in and I got even by dumping my half full cup in the trash and "accidentally" knocking the lid off. Oops.. not nice I know.. but I was upset at the way they treated me. Today I finished my CS hours. Yayyy!! then I went back to Barnes and Noble for awhile. and Read some Don Aslett books.. (if you don't know who he is, look in the house keeping section, he writes hilarious books on housework and DeJunking..")

Then I went to pick up Warren only the Rainbow Bridge people weren'tthere.. But Mike and Warren were. So of course Mike took this chance to jump on me.. I won't fall for his manipulation, so now he is going to try accusations. Argg will that man never quit.. Since I had a child by him, he will NEVER just go away.. but he is so infuriating sometimes.. I can't understand what it was I ever thought I saw in him..

Right now Warren is sleeping. When he came home he said he didn't feel very good. He didn't want anything to eat but did ask for some Motrin. So along with his regular meds I gave him three jr. Motrin. then he drank half a glass and went to bed.. (a sure sign he really means it.) We watched cartoons for a little while then he felt better and ate a pbj, and a little milk.

This week I have to go to court again. for a different reason.. I think that may be part of what has me so wound up. I keep telling myself it will be fine..

Friday is my birthday.. 32 long hard years on Planet Earth. Which is also contributing to it.. I alwasy get depressed on or around my birthday.. I have for several years now.. I don't know when it started.. probably some where around 22 or 23. I just know that I dread it, and it should be a happy occasion. I feel like "What do I have to show?" Then I look around and realize compared to some I do have a lot.. Yes many have it much better, but alot have it much worse.. I escaped an abusive and damaging relationship, many live in nightmares, or in fear.. I am free. I have a house when many have no place.. I have a great son, when many are childless or have lost a child. I have a job, many are unemployed. I had two wonderful parents who continue to love and look out for me. One here on Earth, one from Heaven above. When many did not get blessed with wonderful parents. okay mine were far from perfect, but they loved my brother and I and we were alwasy provided for and cared for and never forgotten.. I have a car, I live in a country where most of my basics freedoms are guaranteed. I can say what I want and not fear arrest in the middle of the night. My son and I never go hungry even when things are at there tightest. Even at my poorest, I am better then more than 25% of the world. And I live in one of the few countries in the world that has programs to help people.. I guess I should be happy things are actually pretty good.. So why am I so unhappy??

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Prequels ~ Sequels

Daily Dumbass:
Thankful For:
Music of the mind: :

~*~Have you read these~*~

~ Ode to a child who is no more ~
~ She's baaack ~
~ testing ~
~ Facebook me ~
~ Bleech ~

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