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01.04.02 @ 14:03
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I just had to share this. I recieved this email in my inbox from one of the top guys at the company where I work. For obvious reasons all names have been replaced with ** or ###. Its gives you a good idea of the kinds of things that go on behind the scenes at tech support. After all even drones on phones, have a sense of humor, at least sometimes.

Greetings :

These are the updates I shared with Sales this morning. Let me know if you have any questions or concerns...


-----Original Message-----
From: **
Sent: Monday, April 01, 2002 11:00 AM
To: Sales
Subject: Important Update: Improvements to Implementation and Support


I'm happy to welcome in the new quarter with this announcement about some significant improvements we have made in our implementation and support processes. I know that some of you have voiced concern about the level of information you are receiving about your accounts, so I wanted to take this opportunity to assure you that we have listened, and are actively designing new procedures to help you know about what's going on.

1. Enhanced phone call routing
### recently completed an upgrade to their phone system, and now have significantly improved call routing capabilities. Effective today, all calls to Technical Support will be automatically routed to Account Managers' home phone numbers (K*****, please provide your home number, as it appears to be unlisted, and we can't roll this out until we get your info).

2. Simplified KOMs
The ICs were getting a lot of questions during Kick-Off Meetings about testing, protocols, support, etc. In order to simplify these calls and reduce the time that ICs spend answering questions, we will now respond to all questions by claiming that cell phone static garbled the question. If the customer persists in asking questions, we'll just hang up.

3. Significantly enhanced reporting
Thanks to a collaborative effort between our Database team and the Customer Service team, we have improved our ability to report on our customers' experiences. A new exception report will notify Account Managers and Account Consultants if one or more of the following events occurs:
- Customer sneezes more than three times in one week
- Customer has bad dream
- Customer stubs toe

4. Top down escalations
We all know that escalations through the proper channels take too much time anyway. So we've implemented a new escalation procedure that starts with ###### and works down to Technical Support rather than the other way around. This new procedure ensures that people with the right skills can quickly address the customer's problem, and has the added benefit of putting the fear of God in our Technical Support Engineers.

I hope you will all agree that these new procedures will result in a more positive experience for our customers. Our motto here in Customer Operation is "If we don't listen to our customers, maybe they'll stop bothering us." Together, we can make significant progress on this goal.

If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to contact ##### (see item 4 above).



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In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.