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Too much Sadness in the world

Thursday, Jul. 09, 2009 @ 4:09 pm
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I really need to get my self online more often. I came in last week and caught up on a few diaries, but ran out of time before I could update.

We did finally get to visit Warren on Sunday (7/5), after missing out totally on his birthday, because his father is the dumbest smart person alive. (ie. He has the brains he's just to lazy to use them). It wasn't greatest trip being stuck in a car for 8 plus hours with Heir SchiessaKopf, King of the Dia Tribes, but it got better on the way back, especially after we stopped in Jamestown to visit the giant (and oddly anatomically correct)buffalo, and got to see all three Albino buffalo (a very rare occurance). Warren seems to be improving, but has a lot more to go before he is ready to be out. He has some goals and plans. I am very impressed with, but I'm not sure he fully comprehends the work and effort it will take to make those things happen. Starting with taking responsibilty for his choices and the consequences that resulted. Like his dad, he'd rather play the my life sucks because other people ruined it, not because I choose to sit and stew in my juices feeling sorry for all the bad and ignoring the good. Why go do somethign when you can be ever so much more miserable sitting home and runinating on all the past things that can't be changed and all the sucky things beyond your control.

Maybe its just my Scanahoovian/German-Russian back ground. But where I grew up the 11th commandment was "Thou shalt not whine. Either fix it or live with it, dont' stew in it. Not that I'm always perfect. Hell I've had days (weeks) where just taking a shower was too much effort, but I didn't whine about it, or talk inscessantly to EVERYone about how sucky mylife is and how hard things are. I just dealt with it. Eventually I got help and took care of myself because I was tired of being tired and miseralble. aggg!!

This has been one depressing year. Never mind Warren and all his crap. Everytime I turn around somebody else is dead. I dont just mean the famous people like Ed, Farrah, Michael or Billy but people who were actually real in my life. First my cousin David, only 42 dies under very questionable circumstances (still no idea what happened Hedy and Kay haven't said much, and it would be wrong to ask or push). Last week I logged in to my local Veg group to find out our leader (one of the most peaceful, gentle and loving people anyone could meet. I never forget his "rescuing" a pair of very young fawns in his car.

Now today after being away for way too long I find out that one of the coolest people to ever login diaryland has passed on to a nicer and better place. I am glad to know she is out of pain and at peace, but I can't imagine the pain of her family and all her friends. She always reminded me of the Grandmother everyone would want.

Karen (aka Cosmic) We may not have been best friends but you always had something loving and sweet to say. You were kind and sweet and a great example of humanity. I will always remember you, and I'll never again listen to the Chicken Dance with out a little sadness.


Prequels ~ Sequels

Daily Dumbass:
Thankful For:
Music of the mind: :

~*~Have you read these~*~

~ Ode to a child who is no more ~
~ She's baaack ~
~ testing ~
~ Facebook me ~
~ Bleech ~

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In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.