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Scheisse, Merde and other crap

Sunday, Mar. 16, 2008 @ 9:20 am
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Looks like Warren will be transitioning back to regular school, though still in the Self Contained Room for now. He wants to prove himself in regular ed, but given his track record the school is understandably leery. I can see thier point, but I also know what my son is capable of.

He is a lot more intelligent than his school work would indicate. Give him some art supplies or a box of tools the kid is a genius. Discuss almost anything with him, he sounds way older than 14, but if you hand him a list of references and ask him to write a paper or take notes and write out an essay, he will look much less intelligent. Ask him to dictate same essay, after somebody reads the information to him, he is back off the charts. He has the brains, he just has processing issues that sometimes make it hard for him to demonstrate it in a traditional learning setting. With a lot of hard work on his part and some modifications on the schools part, I have no doubt he could do it. But I seem to have more faith in him than many others, including his father, Herr Scheissekopf {Mr. Shithead, in English}.

Don't get me started. His dad loves him, but he doesn't see him the way I see him. I've known Warren since he was a collection of dividing cells. I know my son better than anyone. I know what he is capable of. Trouble is, he often tends to lack way behind in the effort department, which gives everyone a skewed picture. He could go in any direction he chooses, lets hope he finally chooses forward and upward, not the down and backward path he was previously heading on.

Very few things hurt a mother more than watching a hightly capable intelligent kid throw away his life voluntarily.

Of course, this also means Warren is getting ever closer to comming home. Somethign I am both looking forward to, and dreading.

I want my son home, I love him more than any other person on the planet. But he also didn't exactly leave home under the best of circumstances, and I am weary of what will happen when he is once again free in the real world. Especially now that the Scheissekopf {he's semi downgraded himself after some comments he made last night, regaarding things being my fault, like Warren has no brain and can't make and choices himself. To say nothing of his abilities, not being my fault. **insert screams of frustation here}.

This also means I have to sit thru some damn therapy/counciling/bullshit sessions with said Scheissekopf, working out coparenting plans {cough, cough, yea right. I do the parenting, he does the blaming, is more like it}, and other issues that have to be worked out between us {meaning I continue to be a responsible grown up, and he continues to act like a little boy in Daddy's clothes}.

To his credit, he has improved quite a bit over the old self he was. He actually discussed things with me, if you could call it that, he is more or less sober, I haven't seen any signs or traces of any other substances and he has appologized for somethings {mostly too little too late, but I'll give him credit for effort}. Now if only he'd get his butt up, get a real job {scrap metal only goes so far}, and stop looking for others to blame for everything.

Is it any wonder Warren is so screwed up. If you take the worst traits of both of us, Warren seems to have picked up on most of them. I only hope he can overcome. I know he is able to, but does he? Will he?

When they told me the rabbit died, they didn't tell me there'd be times like these.

Somedays the underside of my bed, seems like a mighty inviting place.


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In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.