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20 5 Questions

Monday, Sept. 24, 2007 @ 7:03 pm
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Deb's Questions.

1. You've changed a lot about the way you eat over the last couple years. Have those changes also changed your choices for "comfort foods"?

Yes and no. Sugar and I will always have a complicated relationship. I still love the foods I've always loved, ie chips, chocolate, sugary, crunchy fatty. I still have chocolate adn chips, but not everyday. Instead of buying a large bag of the so so chocolate, I buy a smaller more expensive bar of the really good dark stuff. I only eat a little bit, but instead of just snarfing it down, I take time to savor it, to smell it, feel it on my tongue, notice the texture and the different taste sensations. I find I can get enjoyment from much less.
I still find myself craving sweets or chips when things get hard, or I get really stressed or upset. Sometimes I give him, as I am as human as anyone. But the old me would have said well that was blown and continued to binge on. Now I step back, realize what is done is done, eat a healthier breakfast the next day and put a bit more into my workout, and maybe work at eating twice as healthy the next day, jumping right back on the horse, like I left on purpose.

I also have found healthier options that give me some of the same satisfaction. Instead of nachos with cheesy dip, I can make whole wheat pita chips or baby carrots with hummus. Even some of the healthier chip options go well with hummus, or crackers with a little peanut butter. I still get the taste I love and the carb comfort, but with more nutrition and higher fiber which fills me up on less {same volume fewer calories}. I still get french fry cravings as strong as ever {they've alwasy been one of my top confort foods}. I've found a great recipe for oven fries I can make at home. They are much healthier than the kind from fast food restaurant or the frozen prepared ones, and they taste quite heavenly if I do say so myself {I still use ketchup or sometimes salsa or fried eggs to go with them. I love the same types of foods, I've generally tried to find healthier substitues or to eat what I really want but get the best I can afford and just savor every morsel making it last as long as possible, allowing me to greatly reduce the portion size.

On the other hand I'm no saint. If it is a special occasion like somebody's birthday, or celebration that doesn't come very often, hell yes I'm having a piece of cake and a couple other treats. I limit myeslf to a couple of special items I don't get any old time, but I'm not gonna eat carrots when everyone else is having cake, or Aunt Maggie's fruitcake.

2. What is your favorite thing you can do now that you couldn't do at your highest weight?

There are so many things. I could list the obvious like wearing nicer, smaller clothes or walking up stairs without getting winded, but really its the smaller things that make a bigger difference.

There are somethings that are different for larger people than they are for smaller people. Things that only someone who has been large would fully understand. For example, putting on shoes and socks or tying ones shoes. When you are of a certain weight you can't just bend down and tie your shoes, or just lift up your foot to pull on a sock. Your thighs adn stomach are too large. It requires bending your foot in odd angles or using a stair or other prop. Before I would have to bend over and get out of breathe trying to put my shoes on.

I often stood on the floor and put my foot up on a step as it was the only way I could bend down enough to reach my shoe laces. Now I can just pull my foot up and cross it on my knee or kneel down with no fear of trouble getting back up.

Other things that are different: putting on my pants with out having to first sit down to put my legs in them before I stand to pull them on, being able to cross my legs, to bring my foot up next to my hip so I can trim my toe nails, and being able to get in and out of my car, or any seated posistion with out having to thrust myself forward to gain momentum or use my hands to lift myself up.

I love being able to sit down instead of lettting myself fall into a chair, to lower myself to lower seating and now I can easily use my quads to live myself back up.

One of the strangest things I've noticed is washing myself in the shower and not having to lift things out of the way to get to other things, something those who've never had a weight issue probably never think about. I saw my own hooha for the first time in way too many years, now that my belly is no longer hiding it. Its easier to reach everything and shaving my legs is now a whole different ball game. I can get in and out of the bathtub with no effort and I have lots of room between me and the tub so if I fill it, I dont' send all the water out. This is probably too much information to share, but wiping after I use the toilet is so different. It is so much eaier to reach. I never realized when I was heavier how much harder simple daily tasks were, or how much easier they were for slimmer people.

I guess my favorite, however, is that I can pull the seatbelt over me with one hand and buckle it and there are several inches between me and the steering wheel. NO more steering wheel on my belly and not being able to get close enough to drive because there is too much of me in the way. Everyday I discover something new. Its flabbergasting sometimes what I can do.

A close second would be the way my bed feels so much bigger now that I'm smaller. That and my legs don't rub each other and wear holes in the inner thighs of my pants anymore.

3. If you could live or even just visit any place in the world where would you choose?
Just one?? There are so many places in the world I'd love to visit. My ancestors homelands, all the different places I read about on my blogroll, all the cool places.

If I had to pick just one, hmm I guess I'd say to go to Llungbeholm {I'm sure I butchered the spelling on that}, where my grandfather grew up and I still have relatives. Its a town in Sweden not too far from Stockholm, right near a large castle {Kalmar}. I would really love 'family as I could before there are non of them left.

4. We both have sons, but yours is a bit older than mine. What is the most suprising aspect of his personality that you've noticed as he's grown?

I constantly amazed at my son and how much he has changed in the last 14 years, going from helpless infant to almost a full grown man. But one thing I've noticed over the years that really came as a surprise but perhaps it shouldn't is how hard it can be to get along with someone when they act just like you do, when your own words come back to haunt you. I can see so much of many different people in my son. I can see pieces of his father {not only bad ones}, I can see my father in him, I can even see some of my mother in him.

But when I look and see parts of myself looking back at me that is when I am most amazed and what is sometimes hardest to face. I've found that some of the things I like least about myself are even harder to deal with when I find them comming back at me from my son. {or anyone, but most especially my son}

For instance we both have the tendency to put unpleasant tasks off for as long as possible, we both also tend to have strong opinions and a love of arguing those opinions. Sometimes that makes for very lively and interesting discussions, other times we drive each other insance, because we are both so convinced we are right that neither of us wants to step back a look at the other person's point of view. As the adult its my job to lead him in doing this, but its not always as easy as it sounds.

There are also times when I will tell him something or ask him to do something that I don't find particularly pleasant and he'll come back with my own words right in my face. Sometimes he's a little to smart for his own good. More than once he's used my own words back at me to get out of something or to argue against a point that I've made. Its really quite annoying, and yet I can't help but be proud to know I have a son who is that smart and insightful, and who knows me that well.

5. Do you have any indulgences that you break the budget for every now and then?

I have a few. I love books, I would live at Barnes and Noble if I could, but I can't really afford to buy all the books I would love to read {nor can I seem to find the t ime to read them all}, but I do love to treat myself to a nice afternoon there on my days off to sip a tea and maybe allow my self a bit of Godiva chocolate while I relax and just read thru books and magazines. If I find a really good book I'll splurge and buy it for myself. My other personal luxury is tea.

Since giving up soda I've become somewhat of a tea nut. I dont' like the cheap Lipton stuff, so I splurge on teh good Earl Grey's or Darjeeling. I also lvoe a good Green, white, Oolong, or a Rooibos. I have a variety of herb teas I love also. I often find I have to tell myself that I'm not allowed to buy any new teas until I work my way thru some of the many different ones in my cabinet already. I have a tea ball shapped like a lemon wedge and I also have my beloved Adiago tea pot that strains tea thru the bottom when you set it on any cup or mug. I got it free for linking and it was the best Swag I ever got..If I have extra money I'm not spending on Warren that is the first place I look to spend it. I don't drink soda or coffee, but I'm quickly learning which places in town have the best teas. {cough cough, Moxie and Caribou, never been to a Starbucks, and not sure if I care to}

If you look to the left of my blog you can see I link to two great tea companies, both in return for sending me some awesome freebies. If you love tea check them out, they have some wonderful stuff.

Thank you for the questions. I actually had to take some time to think about those for awhile. I think I like these kind of meme's better than most that sound like they were written by a bored 10th grader with nothing to do in study hall.

Leave me a casual comment of no particular significance, like a lyric to your current favorite song, or your favorite kind of sandwich, maybe your favorite game. Any remark, meaningless or not.

* I will respond by asking you five personal {give me a day or two so I can formulate something intelligent}

* Update your LJJ ournal/blog with the answers to the questions.

* Include this explanation and offer to ask someone else in your own post.

* When others respond with a desultory comment, you will ask them five questions.

I had a blast with my son yesterday. He spent half the visit explaining different engine configurations to me, complete with sketches on the white board {we were in a meeting room} and the other half trying to teach me how to play Midnight Club. I swear that kid bleeds motor oil. On the otherhand, the kid would make a great autoshop teacher.


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In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.