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Friday, Sept. 21, 2007 @ 9:26 pm
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Who can't relate?

Somedays I feel like I look great, other days I just feel fat and bloaty, yet I am the same weight and look the same, just not to me. It isn't my weight so much that makes me feel fat, though that has a lot to do with it. Comapared to the 300 plus pounds I was at my highest I have reached a point I would have considered skinny bty my standards. I woud have made fun of somebody in my size daring to complain about being fat. Yet here I am almost at goal, and I still feel fat. I'm still the fat girl, just in prettier robe.

I've really got to stop comparing my self to other women at the gym well i'm way more fit than she is

But I'll never be as fit as she is.

I wish I had her butt, her legs, her hair, and so one {each belonging to a different woman}.

Oh wow I can do full on pushups, but that guy has to do them on his knees. {secret glee}

wow she is lfiting twice as much as me {enter feelings of failure}

I've really got to get a grip. I know I'm not alone in this, I think it is to some extent almost a univeral women's disease. No matter how we look, we feel insecure adn compare ourselves to others, to build up and tear down hoth ourselves and others.

We always think things will be better when we are a certain size a certain weight. Yet while getting healthier improves a lot of things, it doesn't cure everything. Insure fat chicks who loose weight, become insecure not so fat chicks.

Sometimes estrogen is just as destructive as testosterone, just more underhanded.



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In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.