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Meatballs and motherhood

Thursday, Sept. 20, 2007 @ 8:50 pm
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We are the C.I.T.s so pity us.
The kids are brats; the food is hideous.
We're gonna smoke and drink and fool around.
We're nookie-bound!...
We are the North Star C.I.T.s!

Does anyone else remember the Dr. Scholls clogs with teh wooden sole and the buckle strap across the top? I must have had a pair every year during the late 70's early 80's. How about super short shorts with knee high socks that had the stripes across the top? Nothing like renting Meatballs to bring one back to the 70's.

My summer camp {all three days of it during Core Camp, or 4 days with one over night during Day Camp - I was a Girl Scout- though you'd never know it today, unless you need a good knot tied, or you're in the market for a situpon, or some s'mores.} I think I'd have rather gone to Bill Murray camp.

I remember one year, 7th grade or so I think, when some stupd girls {next grade up, one of them was the Sheriff's kid of all things} decided it would be funny to take my canteen and spit celery fibers and shit into it. Ahh yes Fun times indeed. However the horseback riding and target shooting and archery were really fun. That and eating smokey food cooked over a grill with too much lighter fluid.

Of course the real games were never sanctioned by staff. Oh no. Girl politics is always a lot more creative and cunning than anything conselors would think up. After all the back stabbing bitches of the world had to get their start somewhere.

One particular incident that stands out was when S* agirl who was not really mentally challanged, but not quite normal intelligence either. She was nice, but a bit different. Apparently when we were doing some circle group thing she didnt' get let in the circle. Some kids say they didn't know, others I have a feeling were bitches in training. Anyway she wa upset and one of the councelors got a little over upset and things got out of control and faster than you can say Mean Girls things got ugly. Slapping, catiness and general mayhem ensued.
fun times indeed.

I do miss the seances and the nightly games of "light as a feather, heavy as brick" {don't ask}. But not that much.

Apparently in DBGR language, when I say "tommorrow is my day off", they hear "next Thursday would be great for our family therapy session". I heard tommorrow and Warren heard tommorrow. Apparently tommorrow now means next week. So we had no family therapy, but reschuled for two weeks from now. Warren was bummed but quickly got over it {who is this boy and where is my son, never mind I think I'll adopt this kid instead}.

I was able to schedule onsite pass with Warren tonight. It was like a different kid. I have no idea how long this will last, but I plan to make the most of it. The old Warren seems to be finding his way back out. I just hope he stays out even when the IDIOT, gets free and decides to come muck everything up.

But man can that kid eat. I'm allowed to bring him treats and stuf {as long as its eaten while I'm there, he can't keep food in his room}. I brought him a pizza pocket and some raspberries, as well as some bannana muffins {I make a whole wheat, low fat muffin}. The kid scarfed down the pizza pocket like he hadn't eaten all week, than inhaled the raspberries {his favorite fruit of all time} like he was afraid they would disapper. He also polished off three muffins {I was thinking we could split some of the food, but I was afraid he'd bite my finger off}. After that we had dinner. He ate both my fettucinne and his, as well as half an orange and both glasses of milk. Than he announced he was finally full. Sheesh

I think he's grown another inch already. I have to stand on my tip toes to hug him. Its very weird to realize somebody you gave birth to, and carried in a snuggly is now big enough and strong enough to pick you up. Nature is cruel I tell you. Too bad the kid hates football, he's got the perfect build. All the boys used to bug him all teh time to get on the team and play, at least until the realized he hated it and sucked at it.

I'm so glad I'm able to be so close to my son. {I'm not sure I really want to know some of the things he's shared with me, but I'm so thrilled he trusts me enough to share with me}. My mom and I love each other and I know she accepts me for what I am, I just wish she understood me. I always got the feeling that with me and to a lesser extent my brother {her fave special baby} she always felt like a mother dog who gave birth to kittens. She tried hard to love me and be there, but she never understood me, Oddly somethings she understood very well, but other things she never had a clue about. And of course being old school Catholic {and German on top of it}, there were somethings that I just couldn't discuss with my mom at all. I still can't talk about a lot of things. I always envied girls who were so close to thier moms and could talk about girl things and do fun mother/daughter things together. I really miss that.

My mom and I have totally different intersts. Most of what I like is to her "weird stuff". Totally foreign to her. To me the stuff she likes is just not my cup of tea at all. She could watch the Catholic Channel {I can't think of what it is called} all day long. I'd rather do my own root canal.
She's gotten more Catholic as the years go by, I've comeplely left the Church behind, but pretend to be a good little Catholic girl when I'm with my mom, even though we both know I'm most definately not.

I want to talk to her about the issues I"m dealing with, about sex and guys and parenting adn life in general, but its like we speak different languages. I want sometning more than "go pray about it" I wish we had more in common than a mutual love of food and cooking. But I guess at least that's something. After all I have my mom to thank for my love of food, cooking and nutrition, as well as my ability to cook. She may not have understood my love of sci fi, or science or the supernatural, but food was the one language we both understood.

I wish my mom and I could be friends.

But with any luck someday when Warren is grown and on his own, we will still be close and maybe someday be friends as well as mom and son. That is if I am ever able to let go.


Prequels ~ Sequels

Daily Dumbass:
Thankful For:
Music of the mind: :

~*~Have you read these~*~

~ Ode to a child who is no more ~
~ She's baaack ~
~ testing ~
~ Facebook me ~
~ Bleech ~

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In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.