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I found a new way to knock some sense in to my head

Saturday, Feb. 17, 2007 @ 8:51 pm
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I should have guessed what kind of day it was going to be, when I woke myself up this morning by banging my head on the wall, not once but twice, once on the wall atg the head of my bed, and once on the wall on the side of my bed. [my bed is in the corner]. I didn't wack my self too bad, just enough to knock some sense back into me and remind me which end of my bed to get off of. I guess that is what happens when you have bizarre and disturbing dreams that end in a really freaky out door bathroom type place with naked very muddy men, and not in a good way. [don't ask, it was the most bizarre dream I've ever had, very umm what's that word for when you put things together that don't in any way go together or make any sense - i'm having a brain fart]. At least I didnt' have headaches today. I must have knocked them out of me. At least I didn't hurt myself. I must have been seriously deep asleep. I don't think I've ever done that one before.

Today I went to Lane Bryant and made myslelf try on practically every bra in the place until I found the one. Apparenlty "the girls" have shrunk along with the rest of me. I used to be a 42DD, now I"m a 40D?? How the F-bomb did that happen? But at least now I have some nice underthings that actually fit. While I was there I tried on a whole shit wad of other clothes as well. I couldn't afford to buy any of them, [at least not if Warren wants to eat hot meals, and have a roof], but I did find a really cool pair of pants that actually fit the way pants are supposed to, and looked so damn good on me.

I tried on a waft of tops, but none of them were me, or came close to fitting. The oddest was this one with straps and buckles and shit, that made me look like I was going to move to Austrailia and hunt crocs or somehing. I'm not sure why it reminded me of that. It was so cool to look around the store and be able to buy and in some cases be too small for the smallest size they carry. My brain had fun wrapping itself around that one.

Afterwards I went to the food court for a leisurely lunch of Subway-veggie sub, no cheese, just spinach, cukes, tomatos, onions, black olives and green peppers, with sweet onion sauce. I"m a sucker for sweet onion sauce. hey - nobody is perfect. It was nice to relax and eat a quiet lunch and read the paper.

I'm also thrilled that my apparent sudden weight gain has resolved itself and then some. I'm not sure what was going on, but after the last couple of mornings I"m going to chalk it up to "plumbing issues".

I went to the grocery store and blew a wad of cash on groceries. I am single mother with one child, but if you stepped in my kitchen you would find enough food to feed a family of 5. I seem to have stock piling issues when it comes to groceries.

After getting home I chilled in front o the computer watching a few Scrubs episodes with Warren [bless the inventor of the dvd player], than got off my ass, to clean the kitchen, down to scrubbing the walls and wiping out the oven [90 bucks in stuff, and I forget oven cleaner]. I even got the world's wimpiest garbage disposal to work again. I hate that thing, I swear pudding could clog it.

My house smells nice though. I made pumpkin muffns, which taste delicous, but look more like muffin tops. But they were delicious. I am pretty sure I know what happened, so I can do better when I make the next batch.

Warren went to sleep early, and I had too many muffins and soy milk so I"m kind of skipping the dinner thing tonight. I think I may have a small salad later, depending on how I feel.

I've also got a slight craving for hot chocolate. I bet soy hot cocoa would be great. I think its all the sugar Silk puts in thier milk. Maybe I'll just make some more rooibos.

I seem to be trading up addictions instead of just getting rid of them. I no longer drink soda, but now I slam down the tea like it was magic potion. Good thing I usually take it straight, or occasionally with a bit of honey or stevia, so at least I'm not loading up on calories. Except for the green tea and the occassional English breakfast tea [which I have to watch as it is beyond heavenly], I at least am not getting any where near the caffiene I used to be slamming down.

I do have enough rooiboos however to make tea for half the city. Man that stuff is good. I wish I would have found it years ago.

For a day that started out with a bang - litterally, it wasn't too bad of a day, even though I had a fight with Warren I handled it way better than I ever would have before. And we made up this time, and he appologized. so far Lamictal, is proving to be MY DRUG.

I"m getting things done, I have desire to get things done, and I'm no flying off the handle [not as much anyway].

Is this what it's like to be normal?? Cause I kind of like it - a lot


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In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.