*Make My Day
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Recently shared thoughts
Disertation on pain
Addendum to list of things I learned the hard way:
Never put jeans in the wash without checking the pockets first, unless you like funcky clothes and an angry washing machine.
At the first sign something is wrong with one of your teeth, don't be a weenie and try to medicate it in to going away on your own, see a damn dentist.
I am in so much pain right now. I've been popping Advil and Tylenol like candy. I am on antibiotics for ten days and next week I get to go back and pay big money to a man with pointed implements to inflict torture on my mouth.
Boys and girls a lifetime of too much soda and not enough veggies is comming back to haunt me. Listen to your momma, Milk, it really do a body good. So do water. Soda on the other hand just makes you pancreas go on strike and turns you teeth in to worthless calclium deposits capable of inflicting monstrous pain.
I'm already missing one tooth on my left side, that I couldn't afford bridgework for. Now I"ll be missing another one on the back of my right side. I also have a monstrous cavity on my upper left that needs work pdq. I really need to get over my fear of dentistry.
It doesn't help that my dentist's nickname must be Dr. Obvious, which became clear to me as he was tapping on my teeth to determing which one was causing me problems, something I could ahve easily told him.
I think we found the tooth
I shouldn't whine too much, he really is a good dentist, just a little over thorough at times.
At least I was able to enjoy my Shrimp stew, even if I wasnt' any longer in the mood.
Today was also the day, for getting nothing accomplished, other than spending money I can't afford.
I had another big blow out with Warren. I totally lost it and I'm not proud of how i acted. I totally blew it. So did he. We both said some pretty horrible things. We seem to be at peace for now, but I feel so horrible, and guilty.
I was right about most of it, but he also did make some vaild points. He soudns so mature sometimes, something I've wanted for years, yet I'm not ready for it.
Just when did I give him permission to grow up? Because I don't remember it.
I'm just missing my little boy, the one who wanted to snuggle with mom, who looked up and thought I was great. Not the one who has started questioning thigns and trying to find his place inthe world. Not the one who wants to know what is going on, and contribute to things.
Certainly not the one, who is starting ot have values different from mine.
I love him to pieces, he'll always be my baby boy, but I'm not always sure I like the man he seems bent on becomming.
It ddoesn't help that I seem so depressed adn down lately. I have a few ups, but the downs seem to far out weight them. I just want to feel sorry for myself.
As sucky and hard as things were when he was little, I find myself missing those days more and more, wishing I coudl do them over. Wishing I had never prayed for him to grow up.
Letting go, is a lot harder than I ever thought it would be. I thought it would be easy when he stopped needing me so much. I mean he still needs me, but not in the same way. He keeps pushing me away, which is normal, he needs to be an independant man eventually. But he seems bent on it happening tommorrow.
I on the other hand, would love to go back to putting him on my lap and snuggling up for an episode of "Little Bear", and some Dr. Seuss.
Prequels ~ Sequels
Music of the mind: :
~*~Have you read these~*~
~ Ode to a child who is no more ~
~ She's baaack ~
~ testing ~
~ Facebook me ~
~ Bleech ~
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In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.
I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.
I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.