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Only 4 years 247 days until he is 18

Monday, Oct. 16, 2006 @ 8:40 pm
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took a long walk with my son yesterday, as we don't seem to spend hardly any time together anymore, we used to be practically insperable.

I know the separation thing is normal and good. I'm glad he has a life besides mom, and is in no danger of going Norman Bates, but I still miss him. I love him to pieces. Of course sometimes he is very hard to like, but we are working on that, slowly.

What is bothering me, is that in the process of talking about different things, he subjuect of drugs and marijuana came up. I don't think he meant to out himself, or maybe he was just testing the waters,but he made the comment,

I don't like how it makes me feel

Screech.. backup the truck there boy... excuse me..

Am I hearing things??

Yup, seems my son has already tried pot. he's barely 13 for gods sake!! I was in my 20's the one and only time I tried it (at a party with the idiot ex, pre -pre Warren days). I hated it. I may be the only person alive to have had a bad pot trip, but anything that messes with brain chmeistry I can't touch. Even antidepressants can make me manic and stoned like. Even ephedra or psuedoephedra make me go wacky in the head, like I'm on two different planets. Can't touch the stuff.

But anyway. He said it was only once, at a friends house, he hated it. .yadda yadda..

I want to believe hem, I've never seen any sign of use, or behavior to indicate it, or th smell. His reaaction to is, sound a lot like mine, so maybe he inheritied my brain chemistry genes?

After 15+ years of the idiot ex, believe me I know the signs and the smells. But I still can't help but be totally freaked. I feel like I'm being overly permissive, yet at the sam time, he makes me feel liike the mother equivalant of Nurse Ratchet with the rules as they are.

We've talked about drugs adn booze many times. He's seen first hand how it has ruined his dad's life, and he know's his dad was his age when he started. I"ve thought about moving, but aside from homeschooling him in the iddle of nowwhere, with no human contact, it is impossible to avoid. I grew up in a town of 1500 with 120 miles to the nearest mall and 60 miles to the nearest Wal-Mart, and trust me there were plenty of illegal substances to be had , if you knew who to talk to.

I was hoping I would have more time before this issue came to a head.

I know he feels it is wrong, espcially at his age, adn he knows what heavy consequences it can bring. He has mentined many times that he thinks drugs are stupid adn for loosers, and that he will never drink or do drugs. He said it was over a year ago. Maybe he is just pulling my chain (denial runs so deep). I've raised him to be better than to give into stupid people, who pressure you to do damn stupid things.

I can understand the legalization of pot for adults who have certain medical condistions and are fully aware of the risks and beefits and know what they are getting into, but at his age, it is a prescription for disater of the highest magnitude.

Moherhood is soo not for wimps.


A huge part of me just wants to lock him in his room until he is 30.


Prequels ~ Sequels

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In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.