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Time for a little positivity

Sunday, Sept. 03, 2006 @ 5:55 pm
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My house smells lovely right now. Very garlicy (to me that is lovely). I had the house to myself all day, so I had one of my rare never get out of my jammies be somehwhat lazy days.

Since my jammies are somewhat suitable for public display (I have bottoms with Taz and an old Tweety bird shirt I sleep in). I did venture out to walk the half mile to the Sooper Stop (that is the real name, they of the live bait in an earlier entry), to get the Sunday paper.

Otherwise I've either been online or vegging ( I did do a bit of vaccumming).

Oh an I did get a strange urge to make bread. I made some of it into an old rustic loaf and some I made into buns filled with pb and J or pizza (like) filling and mozzarella cheese and brushed with garlic butter and paremesean cheese (thus the lovely garlic smell). I hope they turn out. I used mostly white whole wheat flour, but did add in some white flour to make it lighter and give it better texture. I guess I'm not capable of just doing nothing anymore. Kind of annoying really.

To answer Chaos's question about Warren if I get a second job. I am still working out the details, which is why I haven't applied for anything yet. But I do work a very screwy schedule at my full time job as they decided that instead of a normal Sunday thru Saturday week like most people have they would run Wedndesy thru Tuesday instead. This means that since I work alternate weekends I also have alternate Tues and Thurs off. (told you it was screwy). Since Warren would have school on most Tues and Thurs I could definately get some hours in on those days. .

I am also thinking of seeing if he could spend couple hours at Jasper's if I work an evening or so. The place I am hoping for is walking distance away. Since he is 13 he doesnt' really need a baby sitter. He could come in once in a wwhile to check in also (as long as he behaved in didn't interfer with my doing my job). As I said there are a few kinks, but I think they are work out-able.

Rather than spend my mini vacation feeling sorry for myself, I've decided to take a note from one of the weight loss forms I post alot at and list some of the postive changes that have happened as a result of my loosing weight (and making other changes). I've spent too much time focusing on the negative lately. I need to focus on the ppositive so I can deal with the negative.

Movie theare seats no longer hurt to sit in, they re actually comfy now.

I can fit in booths at restaurants, and actually lean over the table instead of spilling my food trying to get it to my face.

Guys actually look at me (sortof, at least one guy, I think. I'm so out of the game I don't know anymore)

I actually have energy at the end of the day to cook do housework and laundry. I no longer want to crash in bed as soon as I get in the door. I cook more and order out a lot lot less.

I actually care about my apperance now. I've worked hard to get where I am, and I want it took look good. I can actually take time to bother with make up, and other products.

I no longer have mid afternoon headaches and my ankle pain issues have mysteriously totally disapeared.

I can give blood again. Every time I used to try and donate blood or need to have a smaple taken, the nurses/phlebotomist would have a hell of time getting my veins to cooperate. I now realize much of this was do to dehydration and lack of good nutrition.

I no longer need the extended size blood pressure cuff. At my last visit the nurse was actually able to use the regular sized cuff.

My asthma has dramatically improved. This is the fisrt year I havne't had an attack or came down with bronchitis or other respiratory issues.

Clothes just feel more comforatable.

I feel better about myself and my depressive epidodes are much milder and pass much faster.

I'm not nearly so cranky

I'm more open to new things. A year ago, the thought of driving myself and my son to Mpls for a trip to the Mall of America woild have scared the crap out of me. I'd have said no way.. Now.. hey leet's go.

I just generally feel better and I"m much healthier.

My son has also lost weight as a result. the improved diet in our house has done wonders for his body, his self esteem and his behavior.

I llike myself a lot more.

I'm rediscovering who I really am. I am being true to myself again, and doing what I like. I love to cook and now I can use my skills again. Before I never seemed to have the energy to, or the desire.

I"m back in sneakers and socks again. I used to say I hated them, but the truth wwas they were just so hard to put on, when you can barely reach your feet. Now I can reach my feet with no problem. Puting on shoes is so much easier.

Watching my clothes get bigger and looser is a real power trip. It's not hard to figure out how anorexics can get addicted to it.

I can sit on the floor again, and not have to kill myself to get up (not too much. I'm not a kid anymore).

I spend a lot more time doing stuff with Warren. I think we missed a lot of mom and son bonding when he was younger cause mom was too fat to go out and do anything, much less ride bike or go for a walk.

Compliments on my appearance are always a great self esteem booster.

I feel a sense of accomplishment. Knowing I"ve come this far motivates me too keep on. I am willing to do a lot more things cause I know I can, or at least can try.

I've learned to like lots of new foods and new flavors.

I'm learning to like my mirror

I can make lists like this to make myself feel better when things get bad.

edit: I need to not be quite so happy when I click the update button. I accidentalhy posted this entry twice. At the same time went to delete the second update, somebody left me a very nice comment and now the comment only shows to me in haloscan. OOPS. My appoloigies. I didn't delete anything. I jsut get a little trigger happy with the mouse sometimes. My bad!!

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~*~Have you read these~*~

~ Ode to a child who is no more ~
~ She's baaack ~
~ testing ~
~ Facebook me ~
~ Bleech ~

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Mini-Bio

In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.

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