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How to make a man squirm

Wednesday, Mar. 29, 2006 @ 7:39 pm
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Did you know that when three ladies all near or well over 40 sit on the bus loudly talking about menopause and other female issues, it can cause your male bus driver to become quite fuddled, while the younger twenty something in the back listen with keen interest and just laugh silently? Me either..

Apparenlty sometime between 10 and 13 teenagers have a vampire switch that is activated rendering them most active when the sun goes down, and borderline catatonic when the sun comes up, making mornings living hell. I can't really be too mad at him, as I had the same gene switch when I was his age. I was definately a night person thru high school, college and most of my adult life, until sometime after the doctor yelled "congratulations it's a boy", and the every hour (or so it seemed) feedings and other nightly bouts of miscilaneous motherings managed to reset my clock (that and being forced to work day hours). Or maybe its just my age. I can't remember the last time I needed to have my alarm wake me up. In 18 months I think I've overslept 3 or 4 times. I understand how he feels, but there is school, work and things that need to be done. Needless to say, mornings can be quite unpleasant at casa de la CrankyOne.

At least he is trying to work on it. He went to bed early tonight. He knows he needs to be more awake during the day, but I fear his teenage metabolism is working against him.

Today I actually wore dress clothes for work, for the first time since I can remember. Usually I don't give a frip how I look. If its clean an in good repair I'm happy. Lately I've noticed I'm actually starting to give a hoot how I look. I actually bought hair serum again. I haven't used that stuff in years. I love how it makes my hair look. But with the depression and the weight gain (tied together I am sure, hand in hand two enemies plotting against a third), I just stopped caring. I'm actually starting to want to look in the mirror again.

The other thing is that alot of issues I've not wanted to feel/think about/deal with have started to come up. I'm not sure if I'm ready/able/willing yet to deal with them, but I have a feeling if I'm going to continue to real health I may have no choice. This diary seems to be a great place to help with that. When I can't eat, my feelings don't go away and I have to face them, willing or not. It's not easy.

Everytime in the past when I've lost any signifigant amount of weight, I've always found some reason to put it back on, to start eating crappy again. Sure I've always blamed it on somebody else, used them as an excuse as to why I was miserable, that they made me feel that way, but the truth is the fork was in my hand and there were no guns at my head. Eating away my feelings why my chosen way of coping. It made the bad feelings go away, if only for a short time. It also gave me a means of control, and a feeling of entitlement. "I'm just as good as everyone else, I deserve this cake/cookie/soda/sugar bomb as much as that skinny person. I shouldn't be punished for being fat". So far all its gotten me is a trip to the large end of the plus size store and not much else.

Nobody every said good changes were easy. On the bright side, since I've been losing weight I've noticed other people copying me, or asking me questions. Even Warren I've noticed, when he isn't teasingly trying to tempt me, is trying to copy me, wnen he thinks I'm not paying attention. And other than my diary I've never told anyone what I'm doing, other than one person at work who asked, when she noticed I was walking during all my breaks.

I also find it rather ironic that a company that specialized in products to make people heathly, rewards its employees with coupons to places like Culvers or Famous Daves.

Timeto go, its Mythbusters night!!

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Mini-Bio

In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.

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