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Too Fast for me

Wednesday, Oct. 12, 2005 @ 8:04 pm
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Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare. -Ed Asner.

Teenagers are people who act like babies if they're not treated like adults. -MAD Magazine.

An aware parent loves all children he or she meets and interacts with-for you are a caretaker for those moments in time. -Doc Childre

Adolescence is a period of rapid changes. Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent ages as much as 20 years. Al Bernstein

Source: World of Quotes

Wasn't it just yesterday my son, was still going to daycare, and needed my help to tie his shoes. Last year in 5th grade he was growing up, but he was still quite definately a child. This year all of a sudden things seem to be changing at lightspeed. Because of his advance verbal abilities, and the nature of his personality he prefers to hang out with older kids. He's only 12, but most of his best friends are 13-15. I've known Andrew and his parents for quite awhile, and have no problems with Warren haning out with him. When Andrew finally gets his licence I think I would trust him, as he is a fairly responsible kid, who's parents would kill him if he did anything stupid. I've only just met Jasper (an 8th grader) a few weeks ago, but I have met his folks a couple of times and he has spent quite a bit of time over here. He is a great kid, and seems to be setting a great example for Warren, and also appears to help motivate him towards the positive.

But, and there is always a but, there are other kids, who I havne't met and whose parents I don't know. These are the kids that scare me. The other day, I was "volunteered" to take Warren, Andrew, Jasper and Jordan to Skateland. I don't actually mind being the "cool mom" who has the kids over and who plays chauffer as I've slowly discovered, sometimes "cool mom" is really "sneaky mom" who has the kids where she can over hear what they are talking about, and who knows where her kid is and who he is with. She is also the mom, who gets to over hear the teenage gossip and has a true idea of what is going on in "kid world". Listening to some of the things they talk about is enough to double the amount of grey hair on my head very fast. Hearing about how other kids they know are already drinking (using the kids I went to school with as a guide, this is totally not suprising most of my classmates spent Monday talking aobut who got how wasted and who puked on who) and that at least one kid (about 14 or 15, not one of the kids Warren hangs out with or who was in the car) in the neighborhood is already bragging about how far he and his girlfriend have gone, is enough to make me age very quickly.

But at least it gives me a guide for what topics I need to be talking to Warren about. We've already agreed that if I know the person driving and have said it was okay than he can get into the car, but if it is someone I have never met, or someone I have indicated I don't trust he is not to. He is also not to go anywhere with out checking in with me first. I remember all to well some of the stupider stunts my best friend and I used to do when we were "sans parental units" and had use of the car. And I was a fairly goody-good kid. Warren is much more socially outgoing and popular than I ever was.

On top of that, everytime I pick up the local paper there is another story about all the drinking at Moorhead State, another kid rushed to the hospital for having too much alcohol, a 19 year old recently died when he left a frat party after consuming way too much alchohol and who knows what else. He disappeared and was found in the river several days later. 7 peopl have been busted from the fraternity in conjuction with it, and one guy was caught with major amounts of illegal mushrooms. Add in that Fargo is the meth capital of the upper midwest, and a paternal genetic predisposition towards addiction of mind altering substances and you get a mom who doesn't sleep much anymore. Some kids can try drinking and walk away from it. With Warren's history I fear even one drink could start a chain reaction that would lead him on his dad's path. I can't be with him 24/7, nor should I. I have to trust him to make the right decision. I'm not sure if he is ready, becaue I am not ready.

We have talked and talked about this. He knows what it can do, he has seen how it has ruined his father's life, turned Jeckyll in to Hyde and what it has done to us, but is that going to be enough some day when some kid lays on the pressure. He is a strong and idependent kid most of the time, who doesn't give in to fads just to fit in. He is definately an individualist, but everyone has week moments.

My son is also saving up to go skating at the end of the month again. He wants to treat a friend and another person. A GIRL person. That is correct, my son wants to ask a girl out. Granted it is a group thing, and they are only going to the skating rink with me playing chauffer but I was still caught by suprise. My baby on a sort of date, if she says yes and her parents okay it. It seems Jasper his other best friend, now that Andrew has a girl friend and accoring to Warren, is now acting like an idiot, also likes this girl, Destiny. Guess who the threesome is that he wants to go skating with. Sounds like an episode of Degrassi to me.

Oh by the way, if you are driving with your 12 year old in the car, listening to of all things "The Bob and Tom show" where they are talking about how some of Victoria's Secret's displays are a little too risque and your son turns to you out of the blue and asks..

Mom..What's S&M

I'm fairly certain you can't be held responsible for any traffic mishaps you may have. Lucky for me, there weren't many cars on the road at that hour, and I was able to get my breathe back. My son's known since he was a preschooler where baby's come from and how they get there, I just wasn't prepared for the day he started asking about some of the kinky things people do in the process of putting them there. Thank God he bought my simple "Some people derive pleasure from pain" explanation and I didn't have to go in to any details. Today after some report on tv about pap smears (it was on one of the educational channels) he asked me what a clitoros was. That one thankfully was a little easier, though using proper names for female body parts (the vulgar terms make me sick) made him turn redder than his hair and ended that converstaion real fast. (Times like this I really miss my dad, he would have made a great role model and would have had no problems explaining this stuff man to man for him). I know he would feel more comfortable discussing this stuff with a guy.

The next six years are going to be very long indeed

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Prequels ~ Sequels

Daily Dumbass: In the paper the other day, one of the guys comming out of jail for alchohol charges had a "drink pee repeat shirt" on. I'
Thankful For: $40 of unexpected money due to lost child support 2 years ago
Music of the mind: : --

~*~Have you read these~*~

~ Ode to a child who is no more ~
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~ Bleech ~

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Mini-Bio

In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.

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