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Sounding off

Thursday, Aug. 18, 2005 @ 9:26 am
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First of all: To all the customers so concerned about my health, thanks, but I do not have a freaking cold, I am freaking allergic to my freaking state (ie mold, dust, pollen, weeds, grasses and cow dander- basically everything one expects in North Dakota). It is wet as hell is hot here right now, and harvest is also kicking in along with my favorite enemy ragweed. I appologize for my sniffing but I am doing the best I can, and yes even those of us in the "health" industry get sick, contrary to what you might believe there are no natural miracles guaranteed to give you perfect health for eternity, so get off my back and stop judging me.

To my customers:
Here are a few other tips to keep in mind when calling us (or anyone for that matter). I realize that on occassion we may screw up, whenever humans or computers are involved a certain amount of error is to be expected. But many of our issues are also caused by faulty customers, or by miscommunication. I can't guarantee no mistakes will happen but it may be prevent some obvious ones.

1.Don't call from work on your bosses time, that is not what he/she is paying you for. It also ruins my call stats and takes away from my time, when you have to put me on hold every few minutes to do your damn job. That increases the likelyhood of something being missed or miscommunicated. We are 24/7 - call on your own damn time, when you have time.

2.Shut off your damn tv/radio/stereo/ipod/whatever. Get the kids busy in another room, put the dog out, go where the bird isn' get the idea. It is very hard to hold any sort of intelligent business conversation when your tv/radio etc is blasting, when you kids are screaming, the dog is barking, the bird is singing, the neighbors are throwing you a party etc.. if you were holding a business meeting, or conducing a job interview by phone you make sure to eliminate these distractions, I am a professional and deserve the same courtesy.

3.This should go with out saying, but in this day it still has to be told, Please do not call me from your cell phone while you are speeding down the interstate, or anywhere else for that matter. I really don't need the guilt of being on the other end when you run into some innocent bystander because you were too busy trying to figure out which pain releiver you need, or find your damn credit card to watch the damn road.

4. Please be prepared, have the information we are going to need, know where your billing address for your credit card is, figure out where you want your order shipped and make you list. Have your credit card information ready, and know what you want or what you want to ask. The more prepared you are the better the service I can give you. This is not the pyschic hotline, we cannot read your mind.

I understand if you have a few questions regaarding certain products, or what to use for certain issues that is normal. But don't wait until we answer and than start just randomly browsing thru the catalog like you are window shopping at the mall. I will be polite, but you are making the queue that much longer for the other customers trying to get thru.

4.We are here to help customers, but we are not councilors nor are we doctors. Since I do not have an MD, ND or any other alphabet soup after my name, by law I am not allowed to prescribe anything for any medical condition. This included OTC items. I am not allowed to say if you have arthritis or diabetes or whatever medical condition than you should take supplement x, y or z. I can only tell you what supports what areas. Only those allowed to write prescriptions are allowed to such recommendations. Ditto if you are on any prscriptions or recieving medical treatment. Check with your medical provider. I'm sorry if you don't like them, but the law is the law, and you are not worth my loosing my job or getting into legal trouble for. Deal with it.

5. Manners are not a sign of weakness, they are a sign of class, and decency. Acting like a jackass only makes you look stupid. You would be suprised how much more help our reps are willing to give you and how much more they are willing to do for you, if you act like a human being instead of a gorilla on a poo flinging rampage. I personally know of cases where reps could have went out of thier way to do a little extra for someone who needed it, but didn't because the person was a jackass. This also includes eating while talking on the phone, or chewing your gum like a cow with cud issues. On the other end it sounds very disgusting. Oh and in case you were wondering most of our calls are listened in on, by supervisors, leads, and other personel including on occassion our esteemed company president, so watch your language and don't try to pull something. We are allowed to hang up on people who get abusive and/or threatening, if you take it far enough authorities will be called.

6. Keep your politics and your religon to yourself, your views are none of my business, I would never think of asking you what religon you are or who you voted for, so please show me the same respect. If you ask I will drift off and ohoh you till you go away. If you get off on too much of a tangent you may find we suddenly get disconnected.

7. We will gladly replace lost or missing items, as it is a cost of doing business by mail order, however if your local UPS/USPS is a lousy carrier, your beef is with them not us. If the tracking says it is at the PO, but you have not rec'd a notice, do not automatically assume somebody is stealing and go on a rampage (like some lady gorilla from the Bronx did on me yesterday), people + computers = errors. Shit happens, that's life, deal with it. We will gladly do our best to make it right, ie track pkg, reship, give postage discount, however flinging poo an de-evolving on the phone is not going to make you box magically appear, nor will it help your blood pressure.

8.As mentioned before we document every call. If you consistanly have the most expensive item broken in every order, we will get suspiscious. IF you are missing an expensive item, we will check estimated shipping weight vs actual shipping weight to see if you are lying. Don't get your nose out of joint if we call you on it, you are the theif in that case not us.

9. We try to accomodate everyone as much as possible, we gladly take TDD calls, have at least two reps who are fluent in Spanish and will gladly assist those who have trouble with English, we are patient with those who have hearing issues, and will look up information for those who have visual impairments or other issues that make doing those things for themselves difficult. But we have limits. If your hearing is so bad, that you cannot carry on a phone conversation or follow what I am telling you. Get help, order by mail, ask someone to help you. There is no crime in needing help, sooner or later we all do.

10. We maybe faceless voices on the other end of the telephone, but customer service reps are human beings too. We have the same feeling, insecurities and personal problems as everyone else on the human being. While we try to be as professional as possible and leave our personal issues at the door when we come to work, we are also human. Please treat us with the same dignity and respect you would like us to treat you with. If our company screws up we will appologize and do our best to fix it, but there are times where are hands are tied by company policy. We as employees may not always even agree with it, but if we want to keep our jobs we have to go by it. If you think it is truly wrong, speak with your wallet and shop elsewhere, or write to the higher ups. Speak out, but don't abuse us, please. We don't get to make the rules, any more than the police write the laws, we simply have to enforce them and bear the brunt of customer dissatisfaction. It is not personal we don't know you any more than you know us, but we are both somebody's parent, sibling, spouse, lover, child, friend etc..we are also consumers and we deal with other busineses in our own life, possibly even yours treat us with the same respect you would want us to treat you if the situation were reversed.


Prequels ~ Sequels

Daily Dumbass: My ()#*@)((@)*)*)&(&)!!!! Ex, thanks to whom, I have gone from financially catching up, to being in the hole!!
Thankful For: I have car again (long stupid story involving stupid,selfish idiot ex)
Music of the mind: : Radar Love (I have no idea why this one popped into my head)

~*~Have you read these~*~

~ Ode to a child who is no more ~
~ She's baaack ~
~ testing ~
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~ Bleech ~

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In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.