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My 1000th Entry

Sunday, Jun. 05, 2005 @ 10:46 pm
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It's been roughly almost five years since I started this diary, if you count my first entry which sat her for quite sometime, before I returned and started to update on a regular basis.

At the time I was very active on a mailing list for female Star Wars fans, and had been for sometime. The list has since gone to hades in a wicker carrying devices, but that is another story. A few of the members had found diaryland and started journals, which they mentioned on the list. On a lark I joined up and started one, with one of those ugly default templates (Andrew really needs to find somebody with better design skills - eesh). I updated once and it just sort of sat there.

A few weeks later I was in the middle of a personal crisis. As I was ending it with Mike and Warren was clearly having serious trouble which ended up with his first stint at PSJ. I turned to my diary and started journaling. While those first few entries are mostly fluff, as I wasn't yet comfortable enough to really open up, and I hadn't found my voice yet, it was a start.

Once I started surfing other diaries and found some really cool diary rings, I managed to find several like minded people, including a really cool person right here in my own area, which led to the great Kitty swap of 2002. I also found many other really cool diaries, and not just those on diaryland. So many infact that sometimes I feel like I can't keep up with all of them.

For the first time in my life, I realized I was not alone, that other people had been and are in similiar situations. That people I have never met in actual real 3-d person can still be great friends, and sometimes even better friends than some people in real life. When I feel down, there is somebody to pick me up, when I need to vent, there is somebody to listen. When I just want to be silly, there is somebody to listen. Even people I previously knew in real life from other online places started journaling.

It became my little corner to retreat to when I needed to take a break from the real world, or to work out something that was going on in me. It was like a paper diary, but better because other people could talk back, and I could trust them (well most of them) as they weren't the people I was talking about, or people I was likely to deal with on a regular basis, like family or coworkers.

It's been my corner of the universe where I can feel free to express my views on almost any subject and one of the few places where I feel I can truly be myself and not have to put on my "everything is fine" face. In short it was like a second family. When something good or bad would happen my first instinct would be to write about it in my diary. If something funny happened or an intersting thought crossed my mind, I immediatly started composing diary entries in my head. Take away my internet connection and I was an addict jonsing for a fix.

Usually I am the kind of person who will start something, be all gung ho about it for a while and then get tired and forget about it. But this was different. I've stuck with this longer than anything else in my life, with the exception of my Star Wars fandom, which though it has waxed and waned over the years has been a part of me since I was 8 years old.

Even though I only know a couple of you in the real world, virtually everyone on my buddy list or my blog roll is as real to me as the people I see everyday. I've kept up thru divorces, deaths, births, birthdays, rantings, goodnews, bad news, and all the events that add up to form this thing we call life.

Thank you all for being there to share the ride with me. Here's to another 1000. I've always wanted to write a book, but then I stopped to think with all the entries I've written year, I've written well more than most books contain. Who knew?

And in honor of this celebration, here is the entry that started it all way back in November 2000.


This is my first diary entry. Things in my life are sucky at best right now.

I finally got rid of Mike the big jerk. It is so wierd how you can love and hate someone at the same time. I am soo glad to be rid of him, but yet I miss him. I think I am stil longing for the way it coulda shoulda been intead of how it turned out Friday is when we go to court. Thank the maker Warren will be in school, but I am still dreading seeing Mike at all.

Now if I could just get the damn support money, I could use the extra cash soo bad. I dont know what happened to the check he was supposed to send. I need close to 200 just to keep from losing Warren's daycare.

the only brightspot *if you can call it that* is that I have lost weight because of stress and poverty. No money for McD's or snacks, and I have to really watch the pop. In a few days I may be the bitch of the universe, which is not good. Esp if I have to go in front of a judge. I hate courts with a passion.

Most of the time I just walk around feelig sick all the time . I am so short tempered with Warren and he doesn't need that. i just can't handle much more. I am definately going to crack from the strain of it all.

I would kill for some junk food. I swear lately all I want is fries all the time.

more later

The more things change, the more they really do stay the same.


Prequels ~ Sequels

Daily Dumbass: My ex has the attention span of a chiquaqua, and the speed of a three legged turtle
Thankful For: 1000 entries. .Documented proof of my existance
Music of the mind: : Twisted Sister - "We're not gonna take it, no we ain't gonna take more"

~*~Have you read these~*~

~ Ode to a child who is no more ~
~ She's baaack ~
~ testing ~
~ Facebook me ~
~ Bleech ~

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In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.