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Sunday, May. 01, 2005 @ 10:45 pm
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I'm sorry I haven't updated for so long, the last couple weeks have been beyond hectic.

Indy was great. There were a few minor snags, but overall despite the amazingly long lines, and humoungus crowds, together with Gen Con being suprememly disorganized, I would say I had a great time. I love downtown Indy, it is a beautiful city, with some amazing old architecture. I wish I would have been able to see more of it, but I loved what I did get to see. And despite the largeness of the city, I didn't feel unsafe at all walking around with my son, even after dark, though I did get panhandled at least three times, but I'm not stupid. I may be from ND, but I don't have semolina for brains.

I loved the convention. I got to see some really cool items from the LFL archives, there were some people with amazing costumes, and I met some people I have known on line at TF.N for years. I only wish I had been able to spend more time with them. I also got to meet Kenny Baker (R2), David Prowse (Darth Vader in the OT), Jeremy Bulloch (original Boba Fett), and Peter Mayhew (Chewbacca), who is a very cool person. I also got to see him live with Jay La'gaia (Captain Typho), who is an excellent singer and a great host. I have some great pictures, and sadly some picture that I wish would have came out, that didn't.

I also discovered that the state of Illinois really needs to consider investing some of that toll money in better road signage, it is a very confusing state to find your way thru. But I am so proud I drove through all most all of IL, all of WI and part of MN all the way to the other side of The Cities (Yes Bucket I waved at you, even tough it was 5:30 am), before I collapsed from exhaustion. I didn't drive on the way to Indy and every one was so tired on the way back, I figured the least I could do was drive as much of it as possible for everyone else. I was so tired at the end that most of WI is just one big curvy tree lined blur, though I do remember seeing some helaciously awesome looking water slides. I also impressed my self, as I am notoriously fearful of large cities (meaning anyplace larger than Fargo-Moorhead: pop approx 100K). So for me to drive through the Cities including spaghetti Junction was pretty impressive, especially seeing as I was exhaused and driving a 15 passanger van, even if it was 5:30 am). I impressed myself.

Some of my pictures can be seen online at:

I will try to upload some more photos later.

However things in the real world haven't been going quite so well. Warren started having a really bad time with his behavior in school right before we left. He was fine on the trip, and when we came back I thought he was going to get started on the right track again, but I was wrong. Things went from bad to worse faster than a NASCAR driver at the final lap of the Indy500. I didn't plan on making the decision that I did, but I think I new even before than that it might be comming. Warren wasn't going to willingly change, I think he needed more help than the school or I could provide and his behavior had reached the point where I was more than a little concerned and afraid for him.

I ended up having to hospitalize him on Thursday night. At first he was furious with me, and told me he would never trust me again. But now he seems to be forgiving me. I've been to visit him everyday, adn I am slowly seeing signs of my little boy comming back. Sometimes he is moody and angry, but other times he is joking and acting like my son again. The angry boy I had to hospitalize isn't my son. The joking, likable kid who wants to be a mechanic or an engineer and who sees a future, that is my son. Not this angry kid, who doesn't see the point of anything. I am hoping we get some good news and some better diagnoses. From what I've seen of his behavior compared to mine at the same age, I am convinced there is a good chance he is bipolar. I wasn't diagnosed until I was an adult, but I acted much like him, only I was fine at school and then I would come home and put my parents, especiallyt my mom thru hell. The same endless rages, sudden dramatic moodswings, hours long tantrums, and outright disrepect. I want a better future for my son. He is only eleven years old, he doesnt' need to be perfect at anything and he is way to young to be so cynical and to have given up on the world.

He seems to be doing much better already, though he is still moody. He is finally willing to take his meds. Like me they have noticed that he does much better when he feels he has some control and some say in things. A smart person could use this to thier advantage, however at school it was not longer working. His principal is a nice guy, a caring well meaning person who has done a lot for Warren, however he is also very old school and as such has astrong sense of I am in charge do it my way or else. Warren doesn't work well in that situation. He has a bad habit (personality trait, ala both Mike and I), of resenting such attitudes to the point of being willing to self destruct rather than give in. He is a brilliant kid, a very determined and strong willed kid, a great leader, all characterisics that could serve him well as an adult, if he learns to use his powers for good. He is also stubborn, a control freak, and a perfectionist who gets very upset when his hands can't reproduce what he brain creates. I just hope he learns some coping skills, and not just how to play the system.

I love him so much and it just seems so weird not to have him at home. I would love to have your prayers and best wishes for Warren.

This stress is also sabotaging my diet issues. Lately I find myself fightin the urge to eat when I am not even hungry. I find myself craving fries and other crap, and wanting to eat even when I am physcially full, what I always do when I feel stressed, guiltiy and conflicted. Why feel when I can stuff it away with a cheeseburger and fries..

Right now I can only handle life one hour at a time.. prayers, positive vibes, good voodoo and any other postive energy will be greatly accepted..


Prequels ~ Sequels

Daily Dumbass:§ion=news
Thankful For: My son being helped
Music of the mind: : Law & Order

~*~Have you read these~*~

~ Ode to a child who is no more ~
~ She's baaack ~
~ testing ~
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~ Bleech ~

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In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.