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I am so tired

Wednesday, Mar. 16, 2005 @ 1:57 pm
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Tired of this headache

Tired of not being able to sleep more than 2-4 hours at a stretch

Tired of never having time for anything

Tired of never being in the mood for everything

Tired of dealing with everything by myself.

Tired of feeling like everything is MY responsibilty and I'm the only one who can do it right.

Tired of my son being in trouble at school

Tired of the school, seeming to force my son into a self fullfilling prophecy

Tired of seeing my son so frustrated, misunderstood and angry

Tired of being jealous of those who are able to homeschool and make a living. It has become clear to me that my son would function best in a very small setting that was geared specifically towards him, as he is above average intelligence, but also has a serious learning disablity that make reading very difficult. Thus he feels stupid when he is anything but. He also thinks differently and is frustrated by having to figure out things the long way, or explain how he figured things out, when he doesn't know for sure. (I do believe he needs to work on the second one, but when they pressure him, he shuts down)

Tired of living in fear of the phone, is is the school saying to pick him up, a bill collector, my ex, or something else I don't want to deal with

Tired of always being in debt and never having any money.

Tired of not being able to buy more niceites for my son

Tired of feeling like the only human who gets this kid, and being looked at like one of those mothers who always makes excuses for her child's behavior when that is not the case. I expect him to behave with respect, but I also expect those who work with him to understand his needs. I know they try but things are just not working.

Tired of doctor appointments and meds. Normally they give me samples since I have no money and Warren's med can get pricey. They were out of samples so she called in a prescription for 15 pills (30days worth, he takes half a pill a day), with insurance was almost $90. I almost fainted. I can't imagine what the cost must be for those with no insurance, and "too much money" for medical assistance. Medical care should be a right, not a privledge based on income.

Tired of dealing with my ex, though he has been scare lately leaving me even more concerned.

Tired of being the bad guy, the one who has to make all the unpopular decisions.

Tired of feeling guilty all the time

Tired of caring about the welfare of man I don't like one bit, even though I have some freaking weird softspot for him, while still hating him (no I dont' understand it either)

Tired of feeling guilty and of blaming myself.

Tired of worrying

Tired of being depressed

Tired of being tired....


Prequels ~ Sequels

Daily Dumbass: Stupid rude customer who called in this morning..
Thankful For: only two more days till the weekend
Music of the mind: : Immigrant Song - Led Zeppelin

~*~Have you read these~*~

~ Ode to a child who is no more ~
~ She's baaack ~
~ testing ~
~ Facebook me ~
~ Bleech ~

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In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.