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Does anyone speak 11 year old?

Saturday, Dec. 18, 2004 @ 6:51 pm
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Somedays you look at your children and you melt with love because they are so wonderful, tonight was NOT one of those occassions.

Tonight was one of those nights when you look at your offspring and wonder which demon you pissed off in a former life, to curse you with this spawn. Well okay it really wasn't that bad, but I find my self definately in need of a refresher class on preteen logic.

It should be pointed out that Warren is at his heart a good kid, with good intentions most of the time, but that he has a tendency to enage his body in actions which his brain has not fully contemplated. That is to say he tends to act first and think about it later.

Today, after not getting me to agree, despite 2 days of arguing that he should open the present from Gramma early 'cause it was ripped a bit, and he knows what it is, and its only one present, what's the big deal, please please please (insert puppy face), and I'll be perfect I promise please please". He opened it while I was at work and then told me about it, knowing full well his punishment would be what he promised me he would do if I let him open it. (Do I see law school in his future). I was upset but figured that it wasn't the end of the world.

Then I get home and find an empty house, no Warren, no Warren's coat, no Warren's bike, and oh yes I forgot to mention the current temperature at the time I type this is -2F, which is pretty much considering freaking cold anywhere not native to polar bears. I called Andrew's house and talked to CJ, nope Warren was there but he left almost 45 minutes ago. I stop and think, about where he would go, then hop in the van only to find him two blocks down the road, on his way home.

This is part where the story gets intersting. Where was he? That is a reasonable question, a question any parent would have valid reason to ask. That is the story behind why I am writing this entry, so as not to take my son back to the Dr. who delivered him and demand my money back.

First Warren hands me two twenty dollar gift cards from JC Penney and says, "Here you can have what's left on mine, and the other one is yours". Okay, color me WTF!! Turns out my Aunt Nina (my Dad's younger sister) had sent us each one for Christmas. The little Shit opened his that was addressed to him, had a brain surge and opened the card addressed to me as well. Then here comes the part where his body took over and told his brain to take a vacation. He decided he a new watch would be a good idea, so he hopes on his bike and rides to JC Penny about a mile and some blocks from here, in West Acres which happens to be one of the largest Shopping Malls in ND (I realize thatsounds roughly like being the largest Ice Hockey rink in Bermuda but trust me its a large mall).

I didn't know rather to freak out, or go postal. I have never in a million years given him any indication that it would be okay for him to do such a thing. When asked about this, he said , "I don't know, I didn't think about it" Clearly that is the case. Those of you contemplating having children may want to reread this a few times and think it over before you toss those condoms in the garbage.

Needless to say, somebody is seriously grounded and I won't be doing any dishes for quite sometime, which actually works out quite nice, because I love having somebody else do the chores. He has also lost his friend over privledges for a while. We also had a long long talk about the possible conswquences of such a stupid stunt, especially given that he had left me no idication at all of where he was or what he was up to. Hopefull I scared a little common sense in to him, at least until the next time, he gets and idea into his head and decides the reward is worth the punishment.

Now if you will excuse me I need to figure out how many days between now and June 20, 2011 when he turns 18. Then I plan to mathmatically calculate how many adult beverages I can consume to night while still driving home safely and making it to work in the morning, unhungover..


Prequels ~ Sequels

Daily Dumbass: Does anybody want to adopt an 11 year old boy? Just kidding - mostly
Thankful For: That he was alright and everything worked out.
Music of the mind: : Money, Money Money...

~*~Have you read these~*~

~ Ode to a child who is no more ~
~ She's baaack ~
~ testing ~
~ Facebook me ~
~ Bleech ~

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In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.