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Falling behind as fast as I can..

Thursday, Aug. 26, 2004 @ 3:02 pm
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I took the What Mythological Creature Are you? test by !

Okay some of those questions were a bit interesting, but I think this is a very appropriate result, almost to the point of freaky. Up in flames then rise from the ashes only to repeat at regular intervals for eternity, sounds very familiar to me, I've risen from my own ashes on more than one occassion.

This morning Warren had his appt with Dr. W, his counselor, which seemed to go pretty good. Then we had to go back to the walk in so I could play musical offices to find out where and who to get my stupid paperwork for work filled out. Why? Because I missed more than three days of work so not only do I need a note from my doctor, I also have to get a 6 page, Family Medical Leave form filled out, to double verify that I really was sick, because a note signed by a Dr. on hospital stationary stating how long I needed to miss and when I could go back, didn't clue them in, even though it was also required. On the brightside, I have more than enough sick time, and vacation hours to cover my time off, and I will still have enough vacation hours left (baring any more major catastrophes) to take the rest of my vacation time when I am off for Valley Con 30 (which reminds me I need to get that paid for too Terry Brooks, Boris Vallejo, Julie Bell and Dean Hagland among others, I am SO there..)

Then this afternoon it was meet his teacher and go over the new program he will be in this year. I wish I could say it went wonderfully, but that would be lying big time. It could have went alot worse, but Warren was definately not happy at all with the new program. I know he will work his way up to level two with no problem, but he feels so frustrated and picked on that he is in a special classroom. I know he wants to be in a regualar room, like so called "normal" kids, but sometimes he just can't handle it, and I for one can't handle another year of Juvy detention, and being called to pick up my son, becaue he had a melt down and threatened to smack the teacher, and by the way he's suspended for making vague threats about blowing up the school. He had a much much better year last year, and the goal of this program is to integrate him back into a regular 5th grade room and hopefully prepare him better for the rigors of some mainstream classes in middle school next year (aaaaakkkkkkk he can't possibly be that old already). I know he is just hurt and frustrated, I could see him crying and trying not too, but being a member of the male species, he can't let that be known, he has to get defensive and act angry and assert his independance and control by refusing to listen (in this case pick up a piece of paper he crumbled up and tossed across the room). He loves classes like science and phy ed, but reading and all the work that goes with it are very hard for him. He is advanced verbally (extremely advanced), but has a processing problem that makes reading the written word very hard and slow for him. By the time he has read all the words in a paragraph he has forgotten much of what was in the beginning, yet if it is read to him, he can understand it with out problem often well above grade level, just not when he reads it himself. Many times if he doesn't know a word, he will just say a similar word that it resembles. Its very hard for me as somebody who lives for books, cope with a son who has a very hard time reading and as result doesn't like it much. ( I felt much the same way about math in elementary school- until I got to high school took algebra and it suddenly started to make sense).

He was still in a mood after we left, so instead of engaging him and arguing with him, something I've learned will only make things worse (we both know he is going to school why waste energy over fighting about it. He has right to his feelings and will get over it eventually). So I just let him be, and took him out for lunch and let him vent, which he didn't do too much of, but which did put him in a better mood. I've learned the hard way, that when he is in a "mood" my best bet is to back off, and give him space and let him deal on his own terms. He always comes back to me. And he's progressed to the point where he can generally deal with out being violent or destructive, but its taken me 11 years to figure out how to deal with him, and even then I sometimes have my own issues and it doesnt' quite work that way.

His teacher and the one para that I met seem pretty nice and competant. Though I have to wonder how someone so small and slight is going to cope with a frustrated 200 lb, 5'4" boy, who gets angry when frustrated. I have a feeling it is going to be an intersting year. At least with this program in addition to the notes home and back everynight, we also have parent and staff meeting once a month. There will also be one teacher, three para's and 7 students (4 boys 3 girls). So he will get alot more help and attention. Lets cross our fingers and hope this goes well.

In other news, I have finally decided that at age 35, with a kid, a house, a crappy mini van, a crappy job and a crappy ex, that maybe I need to start thinking about becoming an adult. One of my biggest problems is that I have a tendancy to avoid unpleasant things or bad news (to the point of detrement), in the misguided delusion that if I don't know about it, or don't face it, I can continue my merry delusional ways and pretend it doesn't really exist. Unfortunately reality has a nasty way of biting one in the but, and it doesn't care about your problems. I am online right now, trying to avoid making a very important phone call that needs to be made soon, but that I don't want to make because it would mean facing another very unpleasant reality. I have all the trappings of adulthood, but deepside I am still the three year who hid in the cupboard under the closet becaue if I couldn't see the scary people, than they didn't exist. (**Note I was extraordinarly shy as a kid, and anyone I was not extremely well acquantied with qualified as scary people, lest you think my folks were satan worhippors or some other weird stuff, which is not true). Wierdest part is unlike many people, I would much rather talk to someone on the phone than in person, especially if it means dealing with something difficult).

The layout is going to be a bit crappy for awhile as I have a feeling gold just isn't in my budget right now. I still havne't bought Warrens school stuff, paid for his lunches or paid my car insurance, not to mention an enormous water bill hanging over my head along with back daycare, and other bills. I am drowning in paper, and may be forced to make some radical decisions which I am not ready to talk about just yet, basically I'm falling behind as fast as I can...but I am a Phoenix and I am sure I will rise from these ashes only to repeat again and again...


Prequels ~ Sequels

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~*~Have you read these~*~

~ Ode to a child who is no more ~
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In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.