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More life and times of the Mominator.

Thursday, Jul. 08, 2004 @ 9:27 pm
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Well I survived, and actually it wasn't that bad. I did over sleep a bit this morning, so to save time, I drove straight to my appointment and just had Warren ride his bike to daycare (its right down the street from his school, about a mile from here). When I came home I found that he left the milk sitting on the table with Cartoon Network on to entertain the flies, fortunately it was less than a quater of a gallon, but I still hated having to pour all that down the sink.

I stopped for my usual Mt. Dew and grabbed a sausage croisant because I was hungry, and they didn't bother to tell me I shouldn't eat (other lab tests). Then I got to the appointment right on time, since it was across the street from PSJ, I had no trouble finding it at all. I had to fill out one of the medical history forms that asks everything but the color of you greatgrandmother's socks, and I got in just as I finished.

The nurse was very nice, when we did my height and weight (too much). My blood pressure is 140/88, which is right on the borderline, meaning I need more veggies and fewer Snickers, more water, less Dew and get off my ass a little more often. Then she gave me the gown to put on, the one they only had in two sizes, anorexic preteen, and circus tent. Seeing as I have never been or ever will be the former I opted for the latter. It had enough room for me, Roseanne, and a couple Hobbits to set up camp, but at least it provided coverage, even if there were no ties and the snaps in the back had long since made a run for it. Not the most flattering or modest of attire that is for sure. Who designs those things anyway, a descendent of the Marque De Sade? Then the Doctor came in, Dr. K is an older man, but he was a very nice guy, and very professional and knew how to be clinical with out being cold, which is a must when you are dealing with nervous naked woman, who is trusting you with her most private intimacies..

The first screen came back negative, I have no yeast or anything of that nature. The pap smear won't be back for a week or more, but everything looked normal or so I was told. However since I ate, they couldn't do any other lab work, so I have to come back on the 21rst for blood sugar, thyroid, uriine, etc.. and get this a pregnancy test. I can assure you if I am pregnant, I am will either be the first woman in history to give birth to a toddler, or the first immaculate conception in 2000 years. But with all the symptoms I've been having he wants to cover the bases. The irregular periods though may also be related to my weight issues. As soon as I talk to my insurance company, Blue Cuss, I can get some birth control which should help straighten it out, I am thinking the shots since I am lousy with remembering pills, and he mentioned a frequent side effect is that after a month or so you can stop having periods all together.. I have no objection to that whatsoever. I also brought up my Norplant.

I haven't really talked much about it, but about 10 years ago, when Warren was about a year old, I went to Planned Parenthood to see about Birth Control. I tried the pill, but as mentioned earlier I am a lousy pill taker/ rememberer. The Norplant was free, to those of us with low incomes. So I got it. and it worked. I had very little if any side effects. They are however only good for 5 years or so. That means it officially expired in 2000. (That was 4 years ago). However I lost the letter for getting it removed free, life got complicated, and I just forgot about it, and let it slide. It hasn't really ever caused me any problems, that I am aware of, however I am thinking it is probably not a good idea to have it in. So when I come in on the 21rst for my lab work, I am also having that removed. So that means I get to be poked, prodded, sliced and diced, and just for fun, pee in a cup while I am at it. All this at 9:30 in the morning after not having anything but water from midnight on. I think it is safe to say that I will be doing a very good job of living up to my username. Its not a big deal, to remove, but I remember it did hurt to use my arm for a day or so afterwards.

I know I need to work on my weight issue. Its been an issue since I was 12 years old. I've gone up and down, but for everydown there have been two ups. I also know I need to lay off the sweets and the soda, my mom has told me, my dentist has told me, my doctor has told me, now I just need to tell me. And most of the time its not an issue. I don't buy cookies or much junk food, but when that PMS hits and I want chocolate and Potato chips like they are the only food on earth, logic and health concerns just go out the window, and usually my sanity goes with them. To help with that, I also have a referral to a dietician. I have seen one before, and so has Warren. I know the right stuff to eat, I know what kind of exercise I need. Its not knowledge I am lacking, it is willpower, desire and energy.

I stopped drinking soda all together for over two years from a a few months before I met Mike, until Warren was almost a year old. I only started when I went back to work, and it was there, and I needed the energy. The year before I had Warren I was veggie (well Lacto-Ovo) for over a year. But I was within walking distance of a health food store, and had no kids or so forth. I could afford to spend money on tofu, and Tree hugger cereal, and so forth. I ate more beans and raw veggies. I was healthier and skinnier for it. All the walking I did with out having a car, helped too. Then I met Mike, and lets just say, things went downhill from there.

I'm not sure if I can do this, but if I take it one day at a time, and work on it, maybe I can. I have a son who needs me, and I want to see my grandbabies some day. .. Why does everything worth having have to be so hard to get. When I was little I was too busy running my head off to bother eating. I didn't like most things, I actually hated ice cream, watermelon, and a lot of other foods that I love now. I was hyper and tiny and petite. Then one day I turned 11, adn two weeks later my first period showed up. After that, things started changing radically. Suddenly I wasn't as energetic as usual, I ate more and did less. By the time I got to high school my weight was almost double what it was in 6th grade. That only made things more depressed. Having a B-Cup by the end of 5th grade and a D cup by 9th grade didn't help either. I am convinced they are all conected somehow. As soon as I get down to a certain size or start to look good, something in me switches and I start sabotaging myself, or something in my life goes flooey and I turn back to food to cope. That skinny hyper little girl is still inside me somewhere, but she is drowing under a protectivve blanket of fat. And it is not doing either of anygood.

But on to other things. After my appointment, I drove by the house to make sure Warren left and things looked fine on the outside so I didn't check inside. Then I went to work, which was actually not too bad of a day, other than trying to call my insuranc company, which was about as effective as bailing out Devils Lake with a drinking glass. First I call, and I get a recording that they are all out of the office until 2:30 for an annual meeting.. and couldn't be bother with pesky things like the people who pay them ( and fund thier board meetings in Hawaii).. Then on my next break I try to call back and I listen to thier speiel about next operator..blah blah.. if you are a provider.. yadda yadda...this call may be monitored...next available....blah blah.. adn bzzz busy signal and dial tone....sorry Charlie not this time.. I tried again.. same schtick.. and again .. I call the main number,

"Oh they have all thirteen lines in use, they can't take any more calls, keep trying.."... Like we give a damn about you.. just give us our freaking money..

So I will try that glorius thrill time again tommorrow or I may do something more pleasant like stick butter knives up my nose, while poking my eyes out with a juice can opener... I hate red tape and stupid corportations who treat people like some kind of commodity..

Then after work I am so exhausted I nearly took a wrong turn on the way home, I finally get Warren and get home, but the 30 minutes it takes me to make dinner is soo too long that Warren has to eat a bowl of Fruit Loops to keep from dieing of starvation. (did I mention between that and breakfast it was the entire BAG of Fruit Loops!). I get dinner made and we are eating it, while I am trying hard not to fall face first in my hotdish and watching some dumb rerun of Seventh Heaven a show I would normally make fun of, because its just a little too , too.. everything, but for some reason like a moth to a flame or a deer to headlights I watch it anyway.. So we are half watching, half not, and Warren is asking me questions.. "Why is he doing that, why does that person say that, and do that..? etc.. When out of the blue, he pops the one question I was NOT expecting..

Mom, Whats and orgasm??"

Well that woke me, up and I almost choked on my baked beans. We've had a couple talks, but I still haven't quite explained that one.. The joys of motherhood.. I'm just glad he didn't ask me in public..

Then tonight he thru a major, tantrumy, cussing me out hissy fit because I wouldn't by him another set of Yugi OH cards. After I gave him a dollar and drove him to Big Nicks to make another trade. (for doing the dishes and the garbage, when he didn't have to). He had a royal cow, and used words that would have had me still locked in my room.

Forunetely this time, my lack of reaction payed off. He mowed the nieghbors lawn and got paid so he had the money himself, and then sort of appologized. Since he had the initiative to go earn it honestly, I was more than happy to take him to the store. Of course then he had to pick a set that was a dollar more than he had. So he gave me what money he did have and I bought him the cards. This time he rememered to thank me serveral times. Of course the next time I say, no I will once a gain be the mean evil mommy who never buys him anything, or take him anywhere and makes him sleep on a bed of nails and eat dirt for breakfast and worms for dinner. But for now all is well, and he will be doing the bathrooms for me, tommorrow for the extra dollar and change.

Just another interesting day in the life of the Mominator... Oh and did I mention that since I am 35 next month, my doctor wants me introduce me to another right of passage next year.. my very first mammogram.. oh happy happy joy joy.. sometimes I really hate being a woman... and I think that is a large part of my problem..

BTW, thanks and hugs to all who sent me nice messages and good wishes... it is all very much appreciated..

PS if you click on the Yafro Moblog link, I added a new pic of Warren. I think it turned out kinda cool.

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Prequels ~ Sequels

Daily Dumbass: Freaking Blue Cross.. insurance dunderheads...
Thankful For: other than my weight so far I seem to be healthy..
Music of the mind: : I hear the drums Fernando.. there was something in the air that night.. the stars were bright.....

~*~Have you read these~*~

~ Ode to a child who is no more ~
~ She's baaack ~
~ testing ~
~ Facebook me ~
~ Bleech ~

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Mini-Bio

In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.

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