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My assets are frozen along with everything else..

Thursday, Jan. 29, 2004 @ 11:37 pm
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I have PMS and I'm out of chocolate!!! Get out of my way world..

I just haven't had the energy for updating here lately. I think the cold has taken it all from me. I'm used to cold, I even like a brisk winter chill, but when the air temperature outside my door is colder than antarctica (according to weather reports), something is seriously flaked up in the universe. The current temperature is -26F with a windchill of -50F. My toes have been almost frost bitten twice just from trying to get my crotchety elderly van to run in this shiza. When he is plugged in he starts fine, if not sluggishly. But when I am not able to plug him in (at work for example where the parking sucks dirty rocks), he just flat out refuses to turn over.

Last night I had to get a ride with a coworker, because even with a jumpstart it just refused to start. He was trying, it was clear he wanted to, but no go. Poor Warren had to take the bus to school today. (Lucky for him he sat next to a friend instead of the hygeninically challanged kid he used sit by and complain about). I took a cab out to work and tried to bribe, coax adn threaten my van to start. Jumping didn't work. Eventually thanks to the maintenance guy I connected my 100 foot extension cord to one of his and plugged it in to the building. Then I went inside and spent two hours of my day off hanging around the break room of my job, reading The DaVinci Code which I am loving. (I have a few minor bones to pick but over all I love it, and it largely reinforces what I long ago suspected). Followed by a couple of well placed Hail Marys and vrooom, we have ignition. A few errands and an oil change later my van is now plugged in in my driveway. Please let me be able to get it started this weekend. I also have an appointment for a tune up on Tuesday (the van not me)

Lately I have been extra grumpy. Ever since Warren got out of PSJ last year he has been more clingy and needy at night. AT first I understood, and I have been patient. I know things are hard for him, but I am starting to feel crowded. He is ten , he should be able to not have to have me entertain him and pay attention to him every waking minute, or at least it feels like every waking minute. I dont' mind snuggling with him in the morning, I actually rather like it. I even like a short snuggle at night before I kiss him goodnight, but lately he's been dragging it out and whining more. I realize that with his father in jail and me stressed out, it is going to have an effect, but if I don't get some adult only time soon I am going to crack. Even my days off are usually filled with something. I just wish I could take a mini not a mom today vacation, like that will ever happen.

I know he is also depressed about things, but I am tired of feeling like his maid. We both put in hard days, I am not a bloody maid and I am really starting to resent his attitude about helping out. Trouble is, if I dont' do it, it will not get done. I have taken priveledges away, refused to do things and so forth. He just gets mad, or makes promises that some how can't be kept for some reason. Then when I get mad about it, he gets all "poor me". I am such a bad person, I should kill myself.. blah blah..". I know he feels bad, and I do take those threats seriously, but he only brings them up when I am mad at him about something which makes me wonder if there isn't also something else going on.

I know it didn't help things at all when tonight I got so wrapped up in somethign on line that I lost track of time adn we ended up having dinner after 8pm. (bad mommy) or that I got so fed up with his constant clingyness I accidenly aid a little too loudly "go away for a while will you" I know that hurt him, I didn't mean to say it out loud, any more than he planned to really run away. At least we were able to joke about it later..

"Maybe you can runaway another time when it is warmer out"
"yeah then I can make it farther than the van"

But I am still frustrated as heck..

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Prequels ~ Sequels

Daily Dumbass: Anyone who has temps in the 50's has no business complaining about the cold!!!!!
Thankful For: my cozy blankets and my warm bedroom.. the polar bears are going south!!
Music of the mind: : Life is a Lemon and I Want My Money back

~*~Have you read these~*~

~ Ode to a child who is no more ~
~ She's baaack ~
~ testing ~
~ Facebook me ~
~ Bleech ~

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Mini-Bio

In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.

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