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Spam from another planet

Tuesday, Jan. 13, 2004 @ 8:44 pm
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Anyone who has spent any amount of time on the Interent comes to expect a certain amount of spam. I no longer go to my Qwest account because I get so much of it there is no longer room for any real mail. Most us are used to deleting messages with scrambled subjects, messages that are clearly attempts to push porn, attempts to con money from the not to bright and of course the common circulating urban legends. Those are all common hazards of having email. However sometimes I come across spam so bizare I find my self reading it just out of morbid curiosity, then spend wasted time wondering what sort of psychologically challanged brain would come up with this stuff.

Witness exhibit one: I found this message in my diaryland email. The subject repent hood clove would lead one to think it was some sort of religious spouting, like those cheap pamphlets left by conspiracty obsessioners who think every group they don't belong to is out to take over the planet with evil intent. I open it up thinking I will find something to make fun off, instead I find yet ANOTHER ad for sexual enhancement products (clearly they don't believe in targeting and audience, as erectile aids are not much good for someone who doesn't have a penis to begin with, but what got me was what was at the end of the message.

Can anyone attempt to explain this?

bowstring exploitation prevention cayenne fantastic arianism kahn asynchrony evasion late burgeon astor birdwatch bibliophile ribbon cohn lion driveway adsorb draftsperson adroit dixie clattery curve sandblast infirm chimique inaptitude proctor bank ceremony dentistry arboreal resin hettie congestive juncture reach chortle magnesium adenine encore ariadne incarnate informal fordham bowline rpm cherokee condone pater exemption bunt educate jawbone pyroxenite claire hole bacilli encomium furtive bates conferee hoy abreact offset discuss forceful civil destructor miasma functorial circe lausanne blight classmate bulldog chevy arcade lycopodium boldface irritable anecdote insidious fennel glum holyoke ceramium godmother confiscatory finley indulge purposeful inflate cockpit honk deaf desolate halstead quicken mirror rood chain jumpy affiliate cholera historic sharp gibby componentry durkin handicapped hailstone capstan scottsdale militate extracurricular rawhide industrious earphone minaret jerome prado chalcocite serviceman everyone caricature chirp alberta feed hike protege brittany financial acropolis drill acs minstrel elapse extract due pr radiophysics quantity fiendish dank ammeter irksome grayson covariate equinoctial plebian greta cape showplace condominium cytolysis sa perturb philosophy despite righteous compote infantryman dyke egyptian gnu citrate cement earth inheritance minnow ottawa chronic bubble anhydrite abstractor creating fodder bellflower directrices darry jew carload dutton cartography antithetic giovanni ring daytime drier crony ravish borrow declare meyers chiang fallacy applied dodecahedra desolate nautical plugboard racketeer meyers ppm checksum gild cocaine derriere acquit ramo flowchart fibrin sherlock beplaster chapman congenial fed process beg confucius pickman ace ethnology hookworm dielectric deferred brackish churchgo hendrickson assemble henpeck miscellany low needle chloroform fleawort capacious retard pineapple corvette commensurate corbel gaussian muon broadcast anchor gristmill hinduism sideway proteolytic inherit inboard epistolatory inveigle bakersfield hydronium polemic heiress drugging extradite flesh icarus guanidine desiderata everyone ellis attention delve decant laguerre

It reads almost like one of those word association tests. excpet they can't even spell or punctuate.

But that was mild compared to one I got last week, From the Messiah yet (some how I have a hard time believing God has restorted to spam to spread His message)

If you are easily offended religiously you may want to skip this

Message (Botschaft) http://home.t-online.de/home/520017418617/index.html Signs from God. The Messiah comes. We have the end of the World I Guess that means I don't have to go to work tommorrow huh? I think I'll show up just in case.

Signs from God. The Messiah comes. We have the end of the World and already 3th World war. The Mankind faces the Doom and as well the biggest ever experienced Holocaust. Each second Humanbeing ends up in the Pond of Fire. Umm just what exactly is a second Humanbeing? My son is an only child does that make him a First Humanbeing? If the Messiah is not coming now (Jesus Christ, Son of God, King of the Jews), God will come as Devil-and Germany brought the entire Mankind into Hell. Gee does that mean the Almighty is bipolar like me? I'm flattered. Owing to the Brandenburger Nazigate in Berlin every Human will be punished as hard as Adolf Hitler. That means Hell forever:Final Solution (Endloesung) That will teach them not to be meglomanical dictators for life.

Everyone who doesn't call Mankind into Paradise has got at least the same much Guilt and Dirt at putting like Adolf Hitler an will be punished just as hard. You mean I get to help decide who goes where? Wow think of the power?The USA was sworn in to the Bible and is liable with the Final Solution (Endloesung) Death on the Cross forever-I'm no bible Scholar by any means but I did go to Sunday school for many years, and I'm pretty sure the nuns never read any verses that used the letters USA In reference to a counry.

The one who supports Wholesole murderers and Traitors- like especially the USA and other Countries did towards Germany-Umm somebody needs a history lesson. As I learned it, we stopped Germany. Don't rewrite history.will be executed as Wholesale murderers and Traitors and sent to the Pond of Fire. Laughing Third Persons are even hardest punished by God.First, second and third persons? Do I hear a fourth? Sold to the highest bidder..

And so it goes on. Complete with pictures that I won't both repeating, (although the one of Bush standing at the podeum with a cartoon satan on it, did generate a chuckle). Does this person really think anyone of sane mind, and not orbiting Jupiter would really think that God was sending them email.

Now if you will excuse me my DEAR FRIEND Mr. johnson Kutulu in Liberia needs my help to invest 10.5 million to save his country, and I can make 30%. (and in case you were wondering no I am not that dumb, I just thought it was funny).

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Mini-Bio

In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.

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