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I am just tired

13.02.03 @ 21:31
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Warren is home, and thrilled about it. I should be thrilled. I am glad to have him back, but already stressed about the logistics of work and partial and daycare and so forth. I wish somebody would pay me to stay home. I love my son, I just wish it was easier to raise him. But this is the card I was dealt so I guess I have no choice but to play it.

We had to carry all his stuff to the bus station, and then we walked home from Wasted Acres. Needless to say between that, and the long walk we took on pass to McD's well, we are both pooped out. He is already asleep. He was a bit cranky tonight, but all things considered I don't blame him.

Sometimes his vocabulary astounds me. While we were on his pass, we walking and I wanted to go to a small coffee shop on 8th st, but Warren didn't. He kept telling me how it was too pricy and they didn't have anything he would want and so forth. Rather than argue with him over something not worth fighting over I gave in and said fine lets go to McD's. And his exact words were "Thanks mom. Thank you for trusting my judgement". Now those are not words one expects to hear from a nine year old. Got to love him.

The van is supposed to pick him up tommorrow. But it is cutting it way to close to when I have to catch the bus for my comfort sake. I also have no idea of what we are doing afterwards, as I work to late and have no way to get him. His day care is closed as G*'s daughter has an Dr. appt that will take the better part of the day. Once again I have no choice but Mike. I don't want Mike to be aroudn that much. Its sucky enough I have no choice but to use him this weekend so I can work. I am still waiting to hear from NDMA, for final approval. Then I can get the PATH respite care, which will hopefully take him for the weekends I work. I also havent' told Mike any of this yet. When I tried to call him earlier his friend's wife sounded like she was desperately in need of a fiber cereal or something.

I am just so tired. So very very tired of so many things. Tired of terrorism threats, Tired of worrying about war, Tired of being bipolar, Tired of having a ODD son, who may also be bipolar, tired of having to be the grownup, Tired of having an untreated, alcholic ex, who refuses to acknowledge his problems, Tired of housework, Tired of working at Vitamin Hell, Tired of being overweight, Tired of not being able to drive, Tired of having to be responsible, Tired of not having any money, Tired of dealing with stupid people Tired of feeling stressed out, Tired of worrying, Tired of being scared, Tired of this house, Tired of winter, Tired of riding the damn bus, Tired of people trashing the space program, Tired of dr's and social workers, and shrinks, Tired of not being heard, Tired of fighting all the time, Tired of not sleeping well, Tired of Fargo, Tired of being a grownup, Tired of getting up early, Tired of getting home late, Tired of everything. I am so ready to go to bed, and stay there for about six months. It works for bears, so why not people.

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Mini-Bio

In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.

I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.

I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.

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