*Make My Day
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Recently shared thoughts
I'm not really a Pollyanna type, though I fear sometimes I come off that way, trying to find the dim light bulb in all the darkness before I go Sylvia Plath (only I'm not a famous suicidal writer and my stove is electric).
I know many people on my list have deep piles of crap they are trying to cope with and while everyone loses at the game of my crap is worse than your crap, sometimes looking for a ray of light keeps you from wallowing in the mud of self pity (though I can only speak for me on that one).
I for one get really tired of the 'be grateful you woke up cause god loves you crap" and the other glurgy shit that's supposed to make us thankful we aren't dead or something. The worst are the ones that hold somebody (usually somebody with some type of disability) up as someone to admire and copy instead of the real flawed human they are like the rest of us.
Maybe is the fluent snarkasm I speak as a defense mechanism but those things always make feel like I went one to many rounds on the Tilt-a-Whirl (and then you hurl).
I have a lead at work who seems to think paper is free and glurge is motivational. Drives me nuts, it doesn't make me want to be better it makes me feel like going "Network" on her ass (I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore. I have right to be pissed.), I won't even start on the need to print out copies of everything that can be found online with out wasting resources that aren't free.
Some of my problems are my own fault, a result of making some bad choices. But that doesn't me I can't be angry at others even if I can't control their choices (and knew what they were and what to expect) or even the universe for things that are beyond anybody's control.
Warren is being a real butt face lately. I know giving up smoking and trying to clean your life up is hard, but I'm really ready for retroactive adoption some days. Yesterday he went over the top and things got ugly. The stupid part is, it wasn't even over a big thing, it was something totally stupid and not worth it. Yet we both totally lost our shit for a while.
I seem to be on a roll today, I should rant about student loans, but then this would turn in to a 300 page novel, so I'll save that for another day.
Prequels ~ Sequels
Music of the mind: :
~*~Have you read these~*~
~ In rememberance ~
~ thoughts ~
~ She'll have fun, fun fun.. ~
~ In which I really need a shower ~
~ road trip ~
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In every neighborhood there is at least one house that all the neighbors gossip about. This is a diary from the woman who lives in that house. I am a single mother in her mid thirties. I live in North Dakota with my son, Warren.
I tend to be a bit of a slob, and am the opposite of a girly-girl. I am geek girl, who loves Star Wars, Star Trek, Harry Potter, Buffy, Angel, action movies, science fiction, action adventure, Dr. Who, and so on and so on.
I love to write and while I don't post much fiction online anymore I would love to be a writer someday. I am also overweight, bipolar and suffer from allergy induced asthma.